Monday, May 20, 2013

Fwd: URGENT: Facebook Post Boasting About Sex With A 15 Year Old Child



To,
The Commissioner of Police, 
Cyber Cell, Mumbai. 



Dear Commissioner, 

This is to bring to your notice this particular facebook post by someone who proudly proclaims that he has had sex with a 15 year old.  The full transcript of the message and the comments could be found here.  
https://www.facebook.com/aj.ahuja.399/posts/467248806682929  I have also appended the facebook post below with the comments. 


Ajay Ahuja · 2,993 followers
14 hours ago near Mumbai · 























































































Above, I have also posted the entire transcript. I request you to take action under the 

Sir, given the widespread prejudice against people who belong to sexualities other than heterosexuals, I would also like to add that as a 34 year old homosexual man who is a survivor of child sexual abuse - I can state that the Indian LGBTIQ Community strongly condemns sexual abuse. And particularly Child Sexual Abuse. I personally find it sinful to assign a certain sexuality to such dreaded ghosts. 

I request you to take appropriate action against the above mentioned post and everyone who has commented on the same soliciting sex with a 15 year old.  

Do feel free to let me know if i can be of any help in this case. 

I look forward to hearing from your office. 

with warm regards, 

Harish Iyer
+91 9833100340



Cc. 

Barkha Dutt, Ndtv
Robin Chaurasia, Kranti (NGO)

Tejas Mehta, NDTV
Pallav Patankar, The Humsafar Trust (NGO)
Pooja Taparia, Arpan  (NGO)
Yogesh Pawar, DNA
Kiran Manral, http://csaawarenessmonth.com/
Sibi mathen, Yaariyan
Crime Patrol Response, Sony Television


Monday, May 13, 2013

The Fallen Bird


when the morning asked me "have you heard..."
- "the song of the mocking bird"
I looked down and replied in a stern voice
"can't you see"
- "the fallen bird between the carcass of the axed tree"

- Harish Iyer

reflecting back, i can gather that i had written this when i was going through one of the most trying times in my life. i was then still a child  a school going child, and that child was going through frequent psychological and sexual abuse. that child was scared to face boys in his school everyday in the morning. the child found no courage to tell them off when they bullied his style of walk, or tell them that he was indeed in much pain that he was walking in a funny way. the pathos in the poem is apparent. and so is the uncanny ability of the child to humanize other animate and inanimate beings.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Bombay Meri Jaan


Yesterday i was sitting at the sea face of carter road. I had my blackberry on my lap and my micromax mobile in my hand. I was lost in my thoughts enjoying the breeze seated on the lap of the sea over the rocks. That's when i spotted an insect stuck to my shirt, a little over my hip. As a reflex action, i stood up and pushed the insect off my shirt. I dropped my blackberry inside the rubbly rocks. The look on my face was a very “my world has drowned now”. The busy as ever walkway had many curious onlookers. An elderly heterosexual couple, migrants from Uttar Pradesh in North India, came up to me. The husband asked me “kyaa hua bhaiyya, koi maddat chahiye”. I explained what had happened. Quickly the wife sprung in action. She tied up her saree, held her husband’s hand, and jumped with him over the rocks. They had a torch mobile. They used the light to project on the rubbles to look for my mobile. Looking at them, an elderly heterosexual couple, from an affluent family, who were having their routine evening walk came up to me. The wife asked me “What is happening beta... can we help you”. I explained. And before i could finish, they flashed the light of their iPhone and started looking for my phone in the rubbles. Then came a young college boy and girl who were busy cootchie-cooing there. They sensed the tension in the air, gave their lips some rest, and joined the rest in the great mobile hunt. In less than 15 minutes, I had around 25 people over the rocks looking for my phone. There were hindus, muslims, Christians, Parsis and Sikhs. There were rich, poor and middle class. There were 12 year olds, 30 year olds, and 60 year olds. There were security guards, watchmen, managers and CEOs. All of them looking for a mobile phone of an absolute stranger just because the stranger was seemingly very upset. The great search went on for a couple of hours, we removed some stones, looked under rocks. One elderly man jumped in between the rocks while i kept shouting that my phone is not that important that he should risk his life. We did everything possible. We couldn’t find the phone. But i was beaming with joy. The phone is a thing, people are not things. i found something more precious. I found my lost city. I found my people. A city where strangers stop and help anyone who needs help regardless of caste, creed, religion, age or gender. I was given a hug by many, good wishes in many Indian languages. This is way too precious than a mobile phone. Blackberry contacts could be backed up and the phone could be locked up remotely. But where in my heart will i find the space to store this unique love and care that strangers in my city blessed me with. Long live Bombay (or whatever name you want to call it)

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Come! UnRape Me


Come! Unrape Me.
Take me back in time.
Take me to the time I was walking in the lonely street.
The time , when 2 men were following me.
Take me to the time when they came too close for comfort.
Take me to the time when I was touched.
Take me to the time I was bottom pinched.
Take me to the time when I was dragged to the bushes.
Take me to the time when all they wanted was a piece of meat.
And they had their piece of flesh - me.
Take me to that time, when you reached there too.
But for a change, change your stance.
Stand with me, not aside watching me voyeuristically.
You had a phone, but no heart, no will, no balls,
Now, if you can do something for me.
Come Unrape Me!


- Harish Iyer

#TrueStory #FirstPersonAccount

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Five things I picked up at Sankalp 2013


At the largest ‘unconvention’ for social entrepreneurs in India that wound up last week, this writer was both the insider and outsider. Here are some insights from the experience…

- Malay Desai

 1. An accent

Okay, no. Just kidding. But if the Sankalp Unconvention Summit would’ve continued for longer, I would’ve definitely picked up an Ahmedabad-to-LA-and-back accent. I don’t yet know what to make of the evidently high number of Western and American-Indian entrepreneurs at the event, though I found most of them to be bright speakers, having earnest intentions backed by foreign education and experience.

Notable heads from the dozens were Ajaita Shah of Frontier Markets who promised reliable lighting in rural India, Nathan Sigworth whose ‘Pharmasecure’ provides unique alpha-numeric codes to medicines to verify their authenticity.. and the star of the summit Neil Patel (who turned out to be a relative of Samir Patel, whom I’d written about in Mumbai Mirror in 2009) of Awaaz.De, a venture that won the biggest prize. Mark Kahn, Founder/Partner of Omnivore fund, was my pick of the speakers for his irreverent speech that cracked through jargon like a warm knife through butter.

It was also heartening to hear idea-powered folks from the Nashiks and Guwahatis of India talking confidently in their own ‘accents’ on the big platform. To summarise, that feeling of sharing a ballroom with a hundred-odd ‘Mohan Bhargavs’ of Swades is always cool, innit?


      2.Money has to wear suits, apparently

Given the above nature of the attendees, it shouldn't appear as a surprise that the corridors of The Renaissance Hotel were filled with suits during Sankalp. While I hold no reservations against the sartorial habits of Western gentry, it would have been pleasing to see more kurtas and salwars given that many of the visiting delegates wear those in their day jobs in Tier II and III towns of our hinterland.

On day two, almost to defy the cookie-cutters, I donned my short maroon kurta which I’d like to believe garnered me slightly more attention than my formals on day one. I also found a handful of Indian delegates having done the same, besides Vineet Rai of Avishkaar who comfortably sought limelight in a desi achkan.

Question to mull is – to what extent would you tailor your appearance to conform to the norms of a high-profile event, one where first impressions mean much? My vote is for whatever that lets your confidence fly on that sleeve.

3. Some big ideas

Looking back, at the heart of Sankalp 2013 was quite the Kumbh Mela of ideas, some of which are in shape, many of which need Vitamin M to take off. The truth that nothing in the world is as powerful as an idea was palpable through the summit, with the awards, pitches, workshops and just conversations during lunch.
Minister for Social Welfare, 
Government of Bihar, 
Ms Parveen Amanullah was 
one of the distinguished
 names at Sankalp this year

From the big-bang theories at the G20 Inclusive Summit to the patterns of hope charted out by representatives of Afghanistan and Africa to the social concerns of Bihar Minister Parveen Amanullah, there was much to get the macro-minded listeners going. My picks, however were the simple applications of technologies to better or save the lives of many – Green Power Systems’ ‘Waste-to-Energy’ reactor, IQST’s ambition to provide skill-based training to the youth and the most intriguing – the story of one Popatrao Pawar’s socio-economic experiment in Ahmednagar that changed the face of the town.

If there would be just one reason for me to attend Sankalp forums in the future, it would be listening to the cross-section of these engaging ideas.



4. A few biz cards

With great and simple ideas also come bright, unconventional minds and this congregation was a milieu of them. I must shoot a confession here that if there were a World Cup for networking, I’d be the Indian football team. My distaste for networking in formal environments stems from the belief that one must see a person as a person first, not as a contact. I’d rather prefer to strike conversations at parties and casual gatherings, and that too not in a compulsive way. That said, the slow coffee machine at Sankalp did help many networkers score little heaps of business cards ..and as some fund-seeking delegates told me, this was a huge platform to get the word about your venture to the ears of the right people.
Another thing, the interactions with leaders and followers of the social entrepreneurship sector (not exactly the one in which I work but have a growing interest in) were a mighty exercise in self-reflection, if not anything else. If you, like, I go home and ask yourself how many people in your town/country does your day job directly impact, it would be worthwhile.


5. Promises that are working

picture credit : www.techsangam.com 
            Finally, taking off from the ‘plenty of ideas’ point, it must be said that I cannot help but draw a parallel with Sankalp of that conference the world has taken   a    liking to in the past five years – TED. Having been a follower of TED’s videos and attended the Mumbai editions of TEDx, I have become partly cynical of many of the terrific ideas discussed there – set-ups that provide clean water from mucky water in minutes, wheel-assisted trolleys for rural women who walk for water.. and so on. While they make you clap heartily after listening to them, I haven’t come across many of them being implemented. Of course, this is true to the premise of the organisation – ‘ideas worth spreading.’

           On the other hand, I’d call Sankalp ‘ideas worth getting inspired from’ as the platform invites pre-filtered talents who’ve already proven their worth in their fields and have begun impacting lives at many levels. That the event holds ‘promise’ for a better India (world, actually) is an understatement. It’s rather an annual audit of the promises.



            
                        
       

          [Malay Desai writes on youth trends, humour, sports for various media and runs his social media and content outfit, Punchlines.]

          
          hiyer's note: This post is by my favorite ex-journalist and friend - Malay Desai. It was his sensitively written article on Child Sexual Abuse in Mumbai Mirror (read the unedited article here) about my life that inspired a national award winning film ( I AM)  take takes a leaf out of my life. If today I am a  household name as a crusader for the cause of Child Sexual Abuse, I should say, it all started with this article by Malay. This is an example of how sensitive journalism can help take humanitarian causes to the next level and make icons out of common people. 
   

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

DOMA and Indian Curry - My article in Tehelka

"Everyone has the right to be miserable. It is not a heterosexual domain".

- extract from my article in Tehelka on the Defense Of Marriage Act (DOMA) in USA. 




You Will Fall In Love With You

you are trying hard to avoid me,
for you know you are losing control. 
i am trying hard to not reveal all my heart, 
i don't want to be seen as a troll. 

it is a fact that we both know -
that to the same emotion, we both are falling prey. 
funny how we run away, 
from colour of love to shades of black and white and grey. 

don't run away, thinking that it is a change, don't change at all, 
i like you in the purest form of you. 
look at yourself from within me, 
you will fall in love with you. 

#FromMyDiary


                            © Harish Iyer 

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

"I am sorry" says a mother #SurvivorStory

A month ago, had met a single mother of an adult boy who was sexually abused by a close female relative as a child. The mother was being overtly sympathetic towards the abuser as "she must have been upset about something". The boy was braving serious psychological complications. Dropped out from school. Stayed depressed most of the time,  was very reserved and oblivious towards the simple joys of life. When the boy told his mother, she simply hugged him and asked him to forget it. She "scolded" the abuser for her misbehavior and she thought - the chapter was closed forever. She thought that her child was just one spoiled brat. The boy was reprimanded for every mistake he did. The boy always tried to draw his mothers attention in the wrong way.



All this I got to know when I probed the mother. The mother didn't feel like approaching anyone when her child was abused and she quickly made assumptions about abuse and had in a big-hearted gesture pardoned the abuser by making excuses for her. The mother contacted me because she discovered copies of bombay dost in her son's closet. She was only worried that he was in one too. She thought this would bring her family a bad name.



I spoke to her every day from 01 march 2013. And yesterday, finally she said sorry to her son. She hugged him and cried. She told him that she was sorry that she was silent and didn't take action against the abuser. She said she was sorry that she thought her son was sexually wayward and 'kinky' to have sex with men. She told him that she accepts him as he is, she believes him and she loves him. The boy hugged  his mothers breast and asked "what took you so many years mom?". She didn't have an answer to that. 




Yesterday, late at night, her son called me for the first time. His voice was choked. His words were trembling. After 30 minutes of just thank yous from him. He asked me if he was gay because he was abused by a woman. I told him that I am gay even though I was abused by a man. I probed, and found out that he had sexual encounters with women but thought naturally about men. Told him that love and his being is beyond reason. Told him "you are gay because you are gay and that's the truth because you feel that way... And no science and no age old wisdom and no experience is needed to justify your feelings"



He said that he wishes to be a child again. He said he wishes to be born to me. As a reflex action, I quickly shed some tears of joy for he rekindled the fact that I always thought that deep-within me lies the soul of a mother. He asked me what he could gift me for my birthday. I asked him if his mother and he were okay with his story being shared publicly - that could be the biggest ego booster I need, for it is like an oasis in the desert of traumatic abuse stories everyday. Today morning he said mom and he were fine with me sharing their story but requested me to conceal their identity and obvious references. They asked me if there was anything they could do for me or gift me. I have asked them to keep in touch because they are still just overwhelmed, and healing is a process not an impulsive high. They insisted that they wish to gift me something, I replied that their consent was the biggest gift and that I will flaunt this mail on my blog and other sites - the big drama queen that I am! :)

And... here it is! 








Wednesday, February 27, 2013

‘Kai Po Che’ – The Socially Relevant Indian Film


CAUTION: SPOILER ALERT

I finally caught up with the KAI PO CHE fever at a cinema house near my place.  I could gather by all the hype-n-hoopla by facebookers and twitterati that this is a film which my mom would possibly love. So, I took her along. The cinema hall was almost filled to the brim. Considering that it was a Tuesday, a day when we are suited booted to work, the fact that the hall was almost houseful stood testimony to the fact that this film was a raving success in box office collections. Whether this film was really as good as it was projected to be was something to gauge.


I stayed away from reading complete reviews of this film as I wanted to steer away from preconceived thoughts and presumptions about the film.   Still what was evident from the pre-publicity was that this was a film about 3 friends.  I also assumed that this film was about some kite flying competition set in Gujarat, India as KAI PO CHE are words uttered by Gujaratis when they manage to cut another kite that’s flying in the sky. I am sure this is what many of you’ll would also be thinking about this film, if you have not seen it yet.  
To start with, this film didn’t have any big names to flaunt in terms of star cast.  But the director Abhishek Kapoor makes the script the god and gets in characters, music, cinematography, screenplay et al  to simply orchestrate it to perfection. Let me not give you a run down about the whole script of the film, but point out at some poignant points it makes, which makes it a very socially relevant film.  In doing so, I know I would reveal some parts of the story, but believe me, even if you have read it, you would love to go and watch this film.  It is not a film, it is an experience. 


  • ·         “United We Stand, Divided We Fall”

This is the central message of the film. The film has 3 characters who are as diverse as chalk and cheese. One angry and brute, the other stupid and impulsive, the third calculative, the film takes you through a plethora of emotions (minus melodrama) to help you understand  and empathize without forming opinions on each character.  

These three guys are together in thick and thin, but suddenly, external forces, tragedy and disharmony has the dominos effect on them, and they all topple away, far and beyond. They are like the three ends of the triangle, very uniquely connected to each other. They are touchy feely throughout, yet, it very nicely establishes that this is nothing but heterosexual friend bonding. (What’s the word – yaah “Bromance”)

  • ·         “Teaching Could Be Beyond A Profession -  A Passion”

The film has Sushant Singh Rajput who is a cricket enthusiast. His character Ishaan plays a coach who would go to any limits to ensure that the talent he has discovered is nurtured and celebrated. It doesn’t matter to him if the talent he has found bats sixer after sixer  on the field or if he wins a match, what matters to him is the fact that the talent that he has nurtured and the skills he has taught are used for the rounded. There is a scene where his student, is playyying too well, but Sushant isn’t content. He screams at his student from the stands to challenge his limits, and play the bat on the side that he usually avoids. Sushant, works really hard on this student, and his enthusiasm for teaching is undying.


  • ·         “Sports Is As Important As Studies”

These 3 guys set up a Cricket training institute and also a cricket equipment shop where they sell cricketing gears.  One parsi lady walks into their shop and she happens to be the principal  of Kendriya Vidyalaya. She suggests that they come to her school and make a presentation to her and the trustees about the inculcation of sports education. They go. They make the presentation. But the trustees feel that bookish education is more important than sports education. Sushant loses his cool, but is logical in his debate. He convinces the trustees to offer them the job. They are given the assignment.

What an important point made! And so very poignantly. Seriously, does anyone care how many marks Sachin Tendulkar scored in his tenth grade?


  • ·         “Be Alert Against Political Indoctrination”  

One of the three friends gets money from his politician uncle to sponsor the cricketing franchise. In return he expects his nephew to join his political party. His nephew obliges.  He gets engrossed in the election campaign bit, and gets farther and farther from his friends.  He loses his family in a religio-political attack (Sabarmati Express massacre) and he is being told by his Uncle that he needs to avenge the death of his folks in a Blood-For-Blood mode. His anger is misdirected and he goes for the kill. Angry. Cold Blooded. In the end he ends up killing someone who is very dear to him.

The film speaks about dealing with crises and how easy it is to get misdirected when you are under psychological depression or obligation. It leaves an indelible mark in your memory, without being preachy or activistic at any point. This character – Omi, could be anybody. Each one of us would identify with him, at some point of our lives.


  • ·         “Yeah! Women Can Exercise Sexual Agency.”

O! I always thought that WOMAN ON TOP was an Anurag Kashyap domain. Here Abhishek Kapoor offers him some stiff competition. The scene where the woman (played by Amita Puri) takes charge of her sexual desires and dares to make moves at her tutor by feeling up his skin is awe inspiring. There are occasions when the guy is chicken when she is hot like a tandoor.  

In a country where the penis is seen as a hero and the vagina as something that needs to be whitened and tightened for  HIS pleasure.  A woman, daring to exercise her pleasure and exhibit her sexual needs, desires and fantasies is always revolutionary.




  • ·         “Babes, Pop The Cherry, But Bear No Seed”

The film is set in Gujarat. And it is not a hidden fact that navratri is the mating season in Gujarat. I was not surprised to see Govind (Raj Kumar Yadav) in his peacocked attire getting cozy with Vidya (Amita) and finally copulating after playing Garbha with each other. (I really need to understand, how one copulates wearing such a difficult dress. It would take ages for one to remove the clothing) Later, Govind is stunned when Vidya tells him that she has missed her periods as he had used “Protection”. Later it she gets her chums.


Very interesting to see that Raj Kumar is shown as a sexually shy guy in the beginning (he shies from reading FUN magazine whe, representing an average Indian, who does not speak about sex or watch pornography but does it nevertheless.  With films like these, Dr. Watsa would be out of his business. In a very subtle way, Koi Po Che tells the audience to use protection in heterosexual sexepedes to avoid pregnancy. It also tells the audience that the Sperm is not Casper to magically slip out of the walls of the condom to swim through the vagina to the ovary to make a baby there.  God, that’s too much effort for the sperms to undertake.




The film Kai Po Che, which sounds like POI PO CHE which means IT IS GONE in tamil, is anything but that. This film is here to stay in the annals of bollywood film history. Kai Po Che would be remembered. It is a film with an unconventional title and a very conventional heart. At no point is the film “preachy”, the characters flow in from one scene to the other seamlessly.  Kai Po Che is an interesting collage of emotions that help in navigating the story. At no point did I feel that there was a character that was a misfit. There were no item songs.  There was no fanfare music. There is no LEAD ACTOR.  Every character is a lead character.  And there is no STAR. And that possibly helps because, there are no unnecessary – over the top – histrionic emotions where the camera focuses on the main leads face back and forth just because the actor wants to add some more masala to his portfolio. The good thing is that this film proves that a starless film can actually be a star.

Chetan Bhagat’s stories evoke extreme emotions – they are either loved-to-death or they are hated-as-hell… but films inspired by his book are always a blockbuster (Yes yes, I know HELLO! Was a HELL NO! but let’s ignore that one film).  I have not read the book, I am not much a book reader, but I should say that the screenplay was wonderful.
There were no words like “HINDU” or “MUSLIM” used in the film prominently. It was just THIS GROUP and THAT GROUP. There are no fancy abuses. The music is simply to suit the mood of the film. There is no item number. There is no camera zooming in and zooming out unnecessarily. This film doesn’t try being an entertainer, and it leaves you entertained. If there is something that is truly bollywood in the film – it is the climax. That’s the point you will jump on your seats and say “I knew it”… “I knew it”.

If you are planning to watch this film. Don’t plan, GO WATCH IT. Watch it for Sushant, Raj Kumar Yadav, Amit Sadh and Amrita Puri – They are FAB. They are fab because they don’t overplay their character to gain brownie points despite the fact that this is their big ticket film.  Watch it for Abhishek Kapoor, who has made a film from his heart. Watch it for the story that leaves a mark on you. Watch it because you wish to support cinema without big names to back it.  I am not saying that this is the best film made on earth. But I am definitely saying that this film is an experience, you should have at least once.  

And more over, watch this film, because this is a film that speaks about 3 main Indian religions– Hindu, Muslim and Cricket.

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