Monday, June 10, 2013

An Open Letter To Team CONNECTED HUMTUM

 

Dear Paromita Vohra,


I know you as the director of Connected Hum Tum. And I am writing this letter in response to what I saw in the first week run of your serial. I know open letters are most dreaded. They open a can of worms and put the worms out on public display. I promise, this one is going to be little different.

 

On 3rd of June 2013 I ran home early to watch the first episode of Connected HumTum.  Though I loved the concept, I should confess that I was keener on watching the show because I have two of your participants in my facebook friends list.  The first episode was so-so. It looked like Zee TV was using your programme to promote all of the other woman oriented shows. The audience does have a nose for commercial angles that programmers deploy, and they can smell it out.  I was longing to see the participants and what I was treated with was some nonsensical drama by television stars in their character. Abhay was also too wasted in the first episode. It was leaning towards being too silly. And it would have been so, had you not introduced the characters and their vivid lives.


Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4 were all very nice and in sync with the concept you had in your mind.  The way the unscripted stories were unfolding, made me forget that there was Abhay in the  boringly scripted drama. My fondness for the show was growing. Episode after episode your participants made the show more interesting by revealing about their lives.  Eavesdropping is our favorite pastime activity, and anything to peep into the lives of some interesting-yet-ordinary people is always exciting.  Full credit of the same goes to you for overseeing the edit, that was done so wonderfully.  

 

Then came the 5th episode. It was on a warm Friday night, Friday, the 07th of June 2013 to be precise. I was excited to know about the love life of Sonal Giani, one of your participants. Though personally, I am a friend of Sonal and know about her love life, I was very eager to know how you would introduce her lover.  I expected some eye-popping earth-shattering music when you finally introduce Sonal's lover. For I knew that her lover (her Jaanu) is a SHE and not a HE. I should confess, I expected a lot of drama and hungama with at least 10 news articles about how queer Sonal was. Instead, I was pleasantly proven wrong.   You simply introduced the female lover of Sonal without any fanfare. It was so casual and so strongly depicted that without spelling anything out, you said everything. And you conveyed the right message to the audience. The message that love is beyond gender. And it didn't matter whether a man loves a man, or a woman loves a woman, or a man loves a man and a woman, or a woman loves a man and a woman, or a transperson loves someone of any gender - whatever the permutation  and combination, the word, the feeling, the emotion  that stands out is LOVE.


Like sonal, I belong to the LGBTIQ spectrum too. And I was jumping on my sofa in joy when I saw that you made me a "nothing". Your show made sexuality a non issue, and made non-acceptance of love the real issue.


Sexuality is a big deal in India. Often we  choose to make an "issue" out of it. In movies, it is never BY THE WAY- SHE IS GAY. It is always, SHE IS GAY… SHE IS GAY… SHE IS GAY. Even in our everyday lives, we encounter several discriminating responses. Treating us better and giving us more attention is bias too, and sometimes that kind of patronizing, is worse than queer phobia.  In times like these, when ISSUE based films are a norm, your serial would elevate young minds and make them aware that the different is not queer, the fact that you treat someone differently is.

 

Thank you Paromita. You have written  a new chapter in sensitive programming.  I would be enthusiastically watching every show. And I will be generous in my appreciation, and criticism (if any).  I want you to know that you have found yourself an admirer. For episode 5 especially, I love you. Please give my Puppy and Jhappi to everyone in your team. 


Smiles :)

Harish Iyer

 

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Monday, May 20, 2013

Fwd: URGENT: Facebook Post Boasting About Sex With A 15 Year Old Child




To,
The Commissioner of Police,
Cyber Cell, Mumbai. 



Dear Commissioner, 

This is to bring to your notice this particular facebook post by someone who proudly proclaims that he has had sex with a 15 year old.  The full transcript of the message and the comments could be found here.  
https://www.facebook.com/aj.ahuja.399/posts/467248806682929  I have also appended the facebook post below with the comments. 


Ajay Ahuja · 2,993 followers
14 hours ago near Mumbai · 



Above, I have also posted the entire transcript. I request you to take action under the 

Sir, given the widespread prejudice against people who belong to sexualities other than heterosexuals, I would also like to add that as a 34 year old homosexual man who is a survivor of child sexual abuse - I can state that the Indian LGBTIQ Community strongly condemns sexual abuse. And particularly Child Sexual Abuse. I personally find it sinful to assign a certain sexuality to such dreaded ghosts. 

I request you to take appropriate action against the above mentioned post and everyone who has commented on the same soliciting sex with a 15 year old.  

Do feel free to let me know if i can be of any help in this case. 

I look forward to hearing from your office. 

with warm regards, 

Harish Iyer




Cc. 
Barkha Dutt, Ndtv
Robin Chaurasia, Kranti (NGO)
Tejas Mehta, NDTV
Pallav Patankar, The Humsafar Trust (NGO)
Pooja Taparia, Arpan  (NGO)
Yogesh Pawar, DNA
Kiran Manral, http://csaawarenessmonth.com/
Sibi mathen, Yaariyan
Crime Patrol Response, Sony Television
UPDATES: 
Day #0, monday 20 may 2013. the case was reported to the cyber police via an email. the media was marked a cc in the email.

Day #01, tuesday 21 may 2013 : madhavi from TOI called up the police to check. they had not received the email. So TOI forwarded the email to them.

Day #02, wednesday 22 may 2013 : TOI carried a front page article on the issue.
http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-05-22/mumbai/39444847_1_sexual-abuse-online-complaint-harish-iyer
Malishka from Red FM also did this radio interview. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaCVRlFtRJ0


Day #03, thursday 23 may 2013 : TOI carried the following article that confirmed that the mumbai cyber police is looking into the case. the article reports that they have asked facebook to reinstate the post, so that they could trace the IP address of the accused and then take help of the mumbai ground police.
http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-05-23/mumbai/39474275_1_facebook-post-sexual-assault-minor-boy

Day # 04, friday 24 may 2013 : called up the mumbai police cyber cell at 022 - 24691233. the sub inspector, on the other side of the call, recognized me when i mentioned about the case. he told me that I should file a physical complaint (FIR) with the navi mumbai police cyber cell as I reside in navi mumbai. i called up 100 from my phone and took the address. the navi mumbai cyber cell is at the navi mumbai police commissioner's office in belapur.
i visited the cell, the police were very kind and supportive. and extremely proactive. they wasted no time, and took note of all details. i submitted a copy of my complaint and took a received : acknowledgement from them.
i was told that they would get back to me if they have any details. i left my address and phone number with them.

Day # 08 tuesday 28 may 2013 : have not heard from the police as yet. so will be visiting the navi mumbai police at the commissioners office tomorrow. would try meeting the commissioner and will drop a mail to him.

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Monday, May 13, 2013

The Fallen Bird


when the morning asked me "have you heard..."
- "the song of the mocking bird"
I looked down and replied in a stern voice
"can't you see"
- "the fallen bird between the carcass of the axed tree"
- Harish Iyer

reflecting back, i can gather that i had written this when i was going through one of the most trying times in my life. i was then still a child  a school going child, and that child was going through frequent psychological and sexual abuse. that child was scared to face boys in his school everyday in the morning. the child found no courage to tell them off when they bullied his style of walk, or tell them that he was indeed in much pain that he was walking in a funny way. the pathos in the poem is apparent. and so is the uncanny ability of the child to humanize other animate and inanimate beings.
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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Bombay Meri Jaan


Yesterday i was sitting at the sea face of carter road. I had my blackberry on my lap and my micromax mobile in my hand. I was lost in my thoughts enjoying the breeze seated on the lap of the sea over the rocks. That's when i spotted an insect stuck to my shirt, a little over my hip. As a reflex action, i stood up and pushed the insect off my shirt. I dropped my blackberry inside the rubbly rocks. The look on my face was a very “my world has drowned now”. The busy as ever walkway had many curious onlookers. An elderly heterosexual couple, migrants from Uttar Pradesh in North India, came up to me. The husband asked me “kyaa hua bhaiyya, koi maddat chahiye”. I explained what had happened. Quickly the wife sprung in action. She tied up her saree, held her husband’s hand, and jumped with him over the rocks. They had a torch mobile. They used the light to project on the rubbles to look for my mobile. Looking at them, an elderly heterosexual couple, from an affluent family, who were having their routine evening walk came up to me. The wife asked me “What is happening beta... can we help you”. I explained. And before i could finish, they flashed the light of their iPhone and started looking for my phone in the rubbles. Then came a young college boy and girl who were busy cootchie-cooing there. They sensed the tension in the air, gave their lips some rest, and joined the rest in the great mobile hunt. In less than 15 minutes, I had around 25 people over the rocks looking for my phone. There were hindus, muslims, Christians, Parsis and Sikhs. There were rich, poor and middle class. There were 12 year olds, 30 year olds, and 60 year olds. There were security guards, watchmen, managers and CEOs. All of them looking for a mobile phone of an absolute stranger just because the stranger was seemingly very upset. The great search went on for a couple of hours, we removed some stones, looked under rocks. One elderly man jumped in between the rocks while i kept shouting that my phone is not that important that he should risk his life. We did everything possible. We couldn’t find the phone. But i was beaming with joy. The phone is a thing, people are not things. i found something more precious. I found my lost city. I found my people. A city where strangers stop and help anyone who needs help regardless of caste, creed, religion, age or gender. I was given a hug by many, good wishes in many Indian languages. This is way too precious than a mobile phone. Blackberry contacts could be backed up and the phone could be locked up remotely. But where in my heart will i find the space to store this unique love and care that strangers in my city blessed me with. Long live Bombay (or whatever name you want to call it)
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Thursday, April 25, 2013

Come! UnRape Me


Come! Unrape Me.
Take me back in time.
Take me to the time I was walking in the lonely street.
The time , when 2 men were following me.
Take me to the time when they came too close for comfort.
Take me to the time when I was touched.
Take me to the time I was bottom pinched.
Take me to the time when I was dragged to the bushes.
Take me to the time when all they wanted was a piece of meat.
And they had their piece of flesh - me.
Take me to that time, when you reached there too.
But for a change, change your stance.
Stand with me, not aside watching me voyeuristically.
You had a phone, but no heart, no will, no balls,
Now, if you can do something for me.
Come Unrape Me!


- Harish Iyer

#TrueStory #FirstPersonAccount
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Sunday, April 21, 2013

Five things I picked up at Sankalp 2013


At the largest ‘unconvention’ for social entrepreneurs in India that wound up last week, this writer was both the insider and outsider. Here are some insights from the experience…

- Malay Desai

 1. An accent

Okay, no. Just kidding. But if the Sankalp Unconvention Summit would’ve continued for longer, I would’ve definitely picked up an Ahmedabad-to-LA-and-back accent. I don’t yet know what to make of the evidently high number of Western and American-Indian entrepreneurs at the event, though I found most of them to be bright speakers, having earnest intentions backed by foreign education and experience.

Notable heads from the dozens were Ajaita Shah of Frontier Markets who promised reliable lighting in rural India, Nathan Sigworth whose ‘Pharmasecure’ provides unique alpha-numeric codes to medicines to verify their authenticity.. and the star of the summit Neil Patel (who turned out to be a relative of Samir Patel, whom I’d written about in Mumbai Mirror in 2009) of Awaaz.De, a venture that won the biggest prize. Mark Kahn, Founder/Partner of Omnivore fund, was my pick of the speakers for his irreverent speech that cracked through jargon like a warm knife through butter.

It was also heartening to hear idea-powered folks from the Nashiks and Guwahatis of India talking confidently in their own ‘accents’ on the big platform. To summarise, that feeling of sharing a ballroom with a hundred-odd ‘Mohan Bhargavs’ of Swades is always cool, innit?


      2.Money has to wear suits, apparently

Given the above nature of the attendees, it shouldn't appear as a surprise that the corridors of The Renaissance Hotel were filled with suits during Sankalp. While I hold no reservations against the sartorial habits of Western gentry, it would have been pleasing to see more kurtas and salwars given that many of the visiting delegates wear those in their day jobs in Tier II and III towns of our hinterland.

On day two, almost to defy the cookie-cutters, I donned my short maroon kurta which I’d like to believe garnered me slightly more attention than my formals on day one. I also found a handful of Indian delegates having done the same, besides Vineet Rai of Avishkaar who comfortably sought limelight in a desi achkan.

Question to mull is – to what extent would you tailor your appearance to conform to the norms of a high-profile event, one where first impressions mean much? My vote is for whatever that lets your confidence fly on that sleeve.

3. Some big ideas

Looking back, at the heart of Sankalp 2013 was quite the Kumbh Mela of ideas, some of which are in shape, many of which need Vitamin M to take off. The truth that nothing in the world is as powerful as an idea was palpable through the summit, with the awards, pitches, workshops and just conversations during lunch.
Minister for Social Welfare, 
Government of Bihar, 
Ms Parveen Amanullah was 
one of the distinguished
 names at Sankalp this year

From the big-bang theories at the G20 Inclusive Summit to the patterns of hope charted out by representatives of Afghanistan and Africa to the social concerns of Bihar Minister Parveen Amanullah, there was much to get the macro-minded listeners going. My picks, however were the simple applications of technologies to better or save the lives of many – Green Power Systems’ ‘Waste-to-Energy’ reactor, IQST’s ambition to provide skill-based training to the youth and the most intriguing – the story of one Popatrao Pawar’s socio-economic experiment in Ahmednagar that changed the face of the town.

If there would be just one reason for me to attend Sankalp forums in the future, it would be listening to the cross-section of these engaging ideas.



4. A few biz cards

With great and simple ideas also come bright, unconventional minds and this congregation was a milieu of them. I must shoot a confession here that if there were a World Cup for networking, I’d be the Indian football team. My distaste for networking in formal environments stems from the belief that one must see a person as a person first, not as a contact. I’d rather prefer to strike conversations at parties and casual gatherings, and that too not in a compulsive way. That said, the slow coffee machine at Sankalp did help many networkers score little heaps of business cards ..and as some fund-seeking delegates told me, this was a huge platform to get the word about your venture to the ears of the right people.
Another thing, the interactions with leaders and followers of the social entrepreneurship sector (not exactly the one in which I work but have a growing interest in) were a mighty exercise in self-reflection, if not anything else. If you, like, I go home and ask yourself how many people in your town/country does your day job directly impact, it would be worthwhile.


5. Promises that are working

picture credit : www.techsangam.com 
            Finally, taking off from the ‘plenty of ideas’ point, it must be said that I cannot help but draw a parallel with Sankalp of that conference the world has taken   a    liking to in the past five years – TED. Having been a follower of TED’s videos and attended the Mumbai editions of TEDx, I have become partly cynical of many of the terrific ideas discussed there – set-ups that provide clean water from mucky water in minutes, wheel-assisted trolleys for rural women who walk for water.. and so on. While they make you clap heartily after listening to them, I haven’t come across many of them being implemented. Of course, this is true to the premise of the organisation – ‘ideas worth spreading.’

           On the other hand, I’d call Sankalp ‘ideas worth getting inspired from’ as the platform invites pre-filtered talents who’ve already proven their worth in their fields and have begun impacting lives at many levels. That the event holds ‘promise’ for a better India (world, actually) is an understatement. It’s rather an annual audit of the promises.



            
                        
       

          [Malay Desai writes on youth trends, humour, sports for various media and runs his social media and content outfit, Punchlines.]

          
          hiyer's note: This post is by my favorite ex-journalist and friend - Malay Desai. It was his sensitively written article on Child Sexual Abuse in Mumbai Mirror (read the unedited article here) about my life that inspired a national award winning film ( I AM)  take takes a leaf out of my life. If today I am a  household name as a crusader for the cause of Child Sexual Abuse, I should say, it all started with this article by Malay. This is an example of how sensitive journalism can help take humanitarian causes to the next level and make icons out of common people. 
   
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