Monday, March 10, 2008

(AHAM Part # 04) My First Crush: "Vik"

my mom and i believed that love was a very immature feeling. matured people don’t fall in love. though i could say that this was quite a contrasting thought… my mom, an ardent mills and boon enthusiast, , maintains that it just makes a good read. nothing more. strange na… the complex human mind!

actually, my thoughts on the issue was no different. playing agony uncle to all my friends, matching and patching them up, was and is an everyday quotidian. every time id find a friend trying to kill himself for his lady love or for that matter the other way round. it felt silly, very silly. i said to myself, 'i am intellegent enough to not fall into these stupid things'. 'how can someone behave so besotted' i ofttimes wondered.

imaginative and hallucinated a world it was, i thought.

until, i became a part of the experience.

after coming to terms with my sexuality. there was a new sense of wholesomeness that enveloped me. i started seeing the world in a new light. one day outta blue one of my friends gave me the url of this blog ‘

i read the blog and suddenly experienced a different feeling. a feeling that i never experienced before. i started fantasizing about the author of the blog- vik.
i spoke to him and wao! what a feeling it was, i developed a huge huge crush and still the feeling lingers on. i spend my days and nights, then, thinking about him. i sometimes would sit under the sun and dream that he is beside me. i could feel his body, could feel his lips with mine. it was a strange feeling. i was the same person who believed that love and crushes were just a poetic trope, quite far from reality. i don’t know what i could call the relation... was it love, was it crush, was it something or was it nothing. i didn’t know. actually, i didn’t want to know.
i simply enjoyed the feeling.
there are something’s in life that you don’t want to question. you don’t want to decipher. you don’t want to manipulate. you live it as is. you enjoy, you cherish every moment. you simply allow the feeling to conquer you, wholly and in full measure. i am amongst those people who believe that dreams are a blue print of reality. i was an apt example of a woolgather. i prayed for a chance to meet him, 'one chance' i asked god… and she obliged. “tring” rang my fone. it was vik, he said he was coming to bombay. yippee yippee! i didn’t know how to react. i simply jumped in joy, quite crazily.

yes, as i said dreams are a blueprint of reality. what i dreamt did happen. vik came to bombay. i visited him at his place and what followed there was one of the best moments of my life.

i could figure out that he was not looking out for love. i was dejected. was upset that things didn’t work out as i thought they would. but yes, i know, that had i gone too far, id have found it even more difficult to come to terms with reality.
so i paused. got a firm grip of my brain. but still, still how could i stop my brain from wandering in those lanes. i was fond of him. i am too fond of him. he is a perfect example of good looks, great height, sexy body and immense intellect. he is so so droolable (read 'do’ able). i can’t find a parallel, ever.

he is one of the best parts of my life. i will be always grateful to him for what he is. for if he wasn’t what he is, i wouldn’t have had such a fantastic experience. vik! this ones for you "muaaaah!".


Vikster said...



puneet said...

Hats of to you i mean i havnt seen a person like you who has gutts and the balls to accept wat u have done in your life and u have lots of guts to accept perhaps if i was at ur place i cudnt have done it you are a great person god bless keep rocking!!!!

tensor said...

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If you are interested add me in your yahoo messenger
Id: and type the following in my chat box
"Ready" in my bog

If u aren't interested leave it... you are missing a good chance to earn as i am going to 60 members by this may 2008...

I look forward to your positive reply
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All you need to do is just click and be faithful to the group and it would be reciprocated

manorath said...

hmm.. first crush.. hota hain yaar.. u wil find better peopl in ur future and all the best for that!!

where are ur new posts?? couldnt stop jus comin here expecting new posts and findin none..

*Aham* said...

life at work has been a little hectic. will definately update my blog today.

Anonymous said...

That is great Aham. You put down your thoughts well. You are gifted.

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