recently the suicide of a 17 year old boy was in news. he mentioned in his suicide note that this was due to psychological abuse meted out by his friends in college who teased him for being gay. this one came out, i know of many who are silent sufferers and many go unnoticed as when they decide to end their life they fail to muster the courage to mention that that’s because of sexuality discrimination in their suicide note. i wouldn’t take names, but post my abuse, suicide attempts and being a survivor, i made it a point to go to colleges and schools and speak to them about how i had been through it and how i am now through it. i cried everytime i spoke about my episode. but put up a brave face in front of the kids, as i knew that i needed to be noticed as a survivor and not a victim. i believe in the ripple effect. (ripple effect: courtesy: madhusudan ) not to my surprise, most of them who came out and spoke tto me privately were boys. we are most ignorant about the rights of a male child. protecting the male child is equivalent to tiding against the waves, men have to protect women… we are told from childhood. even mythology is interpreted as per our whims and fancies. but what about the average young boy who peddles through the muddles of trivia that life poses? what about the “strong young boy” is simply the reverse of what he is “weak, old man”. growing faster than what the world could imagine.
in a parallel plane, minister, amburami ramadoss(i love this guy. i will dedicate a separate post for him later) has been fighting tooth-and-nail for the decriminalization of homosexuality. (there exists a draconian law, section 377, which punishes anal, oral and sex “against the order of nature”.)
(rearing to go??? no no!
even man-woman anal/oral sex is punishable with life imprisonment. so… no back door entries. rear end is the dead end)
and by the way as vikram joshi puts it in his blog indian penal (huh!) code. lol.
ndtv had recently interviewed me on the issue of sexuality discrimination in educational institutions and also the broader issue of rights of sexuality. i have spoken about the fact that sex is not only meant for procreation, it’s natural if it’s for recreation also. i have asked the government to rather impose heavy criminal charges against any man who marries a woman despite being gay and thus endangering her basic right of sexual liberty.
i’m out on media, now, with consent. and am glad that my debutant public acceptance of me being gay is on ndtv. vikram doctor had asked in the recent parents meet if id like to volunteer to speak about the episode. i readily agreed. and shai venkataraman, the editor/director is super sensitive about the issue. so no melodrama. no emphasis on extra emotions et al. i am sure this program will look wonderful.
i thought it will be right at this juncture to share my previous posts with you. which speak about my life
- a victim of child sex abuse
- a survivor of child sex abuse
- coming out to mom
- my first crush after being 'cocksure'
- me at 29
does being on tv it warm the cockles of my heart?
yes, definitely it does. who wouldn’t like a transition from being a victim who is looking for hope to a survivor who is the hope.
do i like being on tv?
of course i do. i love being known.
did i do it for publicity?
if you think that i could use something as sensitive as sex abuse to garner publicity. you either don’t know me or are a freaking asshole. it makes me happy if people recognize me. because then, i could reach out to many more. it will help the cause. i am not doing it for publicity. but id be lying if id say that i donot like it if i get publicity. had this exercise had no publicity, then too id have done it.
any ways, can you answer a simple question about how many times you masturbate on tv. many will freak out. and here i was reliving something that’s gory, dreadful and long past.
for more watch my tough and blunt interview with shai venkataraman on ndtv 24x7 on 05 october 2008. i received many phone calls about people expecting to hear and see more of me, and this was one-two minute clip. but this was not about my activism portfolio, it was for a cause, and shai has represented the cause very well. she has not glorified the sadness but has been factual.