Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Me, The Author. God, The Trickster!

“what you abhor, you eventually adore” that’s the irony of life. at least that’s how it is for me. as i rejoice over the fact that i can still count the strands of grey hair on my head, i see my life taking a happy turn. in retrospect, i have tasted the waters that i once said “come what may, i wouldn’t”

i believed and believe that god is a trickster. so i made sure that all my pleas were in pronouncement and in complete seriousness with no prospect for any dubiousness. but still, she is god. she found her way often to trick me to not taste merely but to dip and plunge into the deep.
i remember the days my aunt used to sit with a stick in her hand “calyx”, “corolla”, “sepal”, “petal” and i engaged in pitter-patter “i love plants, but how could anyone possibly study botany”. her tyrannical ways to woo me made me vow against it. and today, i flaunt my bachelors’ degree in botany. similarly, i had said once, “oh! my god how can someone possibly stay in government quarters” and i ended up staying in one for 13 years without an iota of nitpick. so is the case with my new abode in the farther end of new bombay, and this is the same me who bellowed that id not set foot on a home outside my beloved bombay no matter how low the circumstances. agreed this was as good as being in bombay. but it’s still a make believe; aintit?
i might sound like a little boy with a ninety year old perspicacity, but nature bestows opportunities to soothe or seethe your life. it’s up to us to either burp in softness, vivacity and happiness by choosing the former, or pant in recklessness by choosing the latter. i look back at the wallop of happiness and the smirk of pain that gave happiness a new high.

fathoming back to the memories that changed me, i arrive at the days when i detested dogs, i was very compassionate towards them, and believed that quite understand their emotions. i used to sit with my white underwear and baniyaan in my balcony looking at momma dog visiting our building, leaving her babies in the custody of our building watchman and then setting off to dig the nearby garbage bin. (and before you start thinking of me as a flasher; be informed that i was a kid thenJ) one day, the baby dogs were there alone, momma was missing. i ran down to scout around for momma dog, with my mom to tag along. and saw her lay in a heap of garbage with froth dipping off her mouth… i looked at my mom and asked her with utter innocence “why is momma doggy sleeping over the dust bin, why didn’t she wash her mouth after brushing”. mom wanted to break the news to me that momma doggy is no more. and knowing mom, she didn’t mince words, said she “she has died, and all will die. one day”. mom expected me to feel bad, but i instead smiled cheekily at the fact that id be seeing momma doggy when i die. i looked at the pups and felt sorry. my happiness turned pale. what will happen to the little ones i wondered? then a little pup came close to me. i fretted, in fear, took a pebble and pelt it on the pup. i never have aimed so well ever. it hit the pup on the forehead of his. and the pup squealed in pain. so strident was the squeal that i can hear its echo still screeching the daylights off me. i stood there scared, that the pup would bite, still ignorant of the fact that the pup has just been orphaned. i justify my grisly act saying “but… but… but i was scared”
even today i fret i condole thinking of the orphaned pup… the thought of the nest with 3 sparrow chicks that i took to the ground so that i could see it fly, but ended up as a meal for a hungry cat… the thought of the many lizards that i loved to torment just because i wanted to see it drop its tail… the thought of the parrots i loved to cage… the thought of the sick and mauled cat that i rescued just after i turned 23, just to crush it to death by putting my leg over him when i was sleeping. years later, now, i am working for the cause of animals, tooth and nail.

“my parents should have stopped me then. my mother is the most empathetic person, but she didn’t put her foot down, she might be my mother, my loved mother, but she has wronged here” i protest in retrospect, quite happily washing off the guilt from me on to my moms shoulders.

why am i suddenly thinking of animals? i mean, i think of animals often, but why so profoundly? well because, i am reading this book. marley and me by john gregon and reading is not my habit, the only books that i have read (in bits and pieces, not completelty)are shobhaa de ka naya book superstar india, and parmesh shahani’s gay bombay.the only book that i have read cover to cover is maneka gandhi’s heads and tails… and that’s because i was in that activism spree. this book was gifted to me by friend rusi. thanks rusi…

now, post reading my first ever book, promising admiration from a celebrated author my blogdost de and above all the pillar of a support of my sexy girlfriend (of course you are my girlfriend re… rajesh watch out) in minneapolis rekha, i have started writing a book. which i will complete in a years time. it took me a lot of time to understand that i am doing something that i once detested.

i often wondered how people found the time to flip through pages and still remember the trail of the story. i was so damn intelligent, that i often lost track of the story that the book followed. but here i am, confident and flagrantly state that my book will be a bestseller. that’s why i call god a trickster. a real chaalu cheez.

im going for it. and i will win it.
…i mean a booker. why do you feel I cant. I can. And will.

Come on… what are you reading still…jaldi karo… wish me luck, tell me that I will see this happen for real.

(however clichéd this may sound) I need your blessings, wishes and affirmations



Aaditya M. Joshi said...

If your will is strong enough, "will" (the future) becomes "has" (the present.).

You will win a Booker if you will to win.

Pinku said...

write the story of your heart and write it only for yourself...

If people appreciate and it wins an award...so much the better if not you have atleast got the chance to write it out and see it in print.

ek-ladki-anjaani-si said...

Taathastu! You don't need luck - all you need is a bit more of nagging from me. I am already placing an order for a 1st edition signed book! I know you will do a great job writing, I have told you already. Bhagwaan ka aashirwaad leke ho ja shuru. You got one year, tick tock tick tock!

I am already betting a Booker on it. P.S. I wonder if dear hubby read this ;-)

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Write Before I Die said...

Hello Aham:

This is your first post I've read, and your writing is beautiful. I especially love the following excerpt" but still, she is god. she found her way often to trick me to not taste merely but to dip and plunge into the deep."

I will read some more, and, blessings, on writing your new book.

P.S. I, too, share your love and concern for animals. They are so innocent.

Be well!

shreya yedery said...

hey uve written so beautifully......thank u.....its amazing to know that ur so touched by the play.....its a marvellous play

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