Thursday, November 13, 2008

Not Sorry For Sex!

Eyes, nose, mouth, teeth, chest, abdomen, leg, feet … what ever happened to the penis and vagina? Remove the god damn underwear from school textbooks, I say. Let us not spend their lives till adolescence in curiosity and ignorance, till finally, and many-a-times after a few experiments with peer, the horny dear and near, we understand the growing urges and functions of the protruding edges.

That's childhood for us. A trend that continues to adolescence to adult hood and all through life. We choose to have a weighty heart in our endeavor of safeguarding our extremely sacrosanct bodies. If you are a woman and also a widow or a divorcee, the society turns a blind mind to your hot flushes in the night, getting you to find refuge in a life saver carrot or fingers to relieve, but sex… "oh! What will society say?" I wonder how long? How long will we continue to torment our women with our make-believe sex-guards? An invisible thread edged out by the alpha male and foolishly and cowardly practiced by women to trouble their kind. That's so so unkind.

It's okay if you teach your kids to be responsible and treat sex responsibly. It is okay, if we educate kids and tell them that there's an age for sex. But we just wouldn't do that. For us, sex is bad and one should abstain from it. So, if a woman is thirty and plans to be a spinster… she dies a virgin. Isn't it? And no one teaches growing kids how to deal with orgasms. Telling your kids what a condom is … oh! That's too farfetched a thought… I have seen girls at puberty fret thinking that they are going to bleed to death. In pursuit of maintaining the ISI seal, 'the perpetual virginal state' until hubby does it apart.

"… You are destined to Abstain from it. Nature has chosen you to be this way", tells a mother of a young 22 year old chick, who is a divorcée. This girl barely had a few sexpisodes until she had to deal with the harsh and untimely estrangement with her husband. But what about her sexual fantasies? what about the innermost urges?… society, is abruptly vociferous in condemning and defining what (according to them) is natural and unnatural. Isn't the urge for sex natural? She desires sex, but has no intention to remarry. So, if she 'does' she is a Devil, if she 'does not do' she is a Devi. That's how the male chauvinistic society wants the woman to be, Devi and Whore. Just 2 compartments. Period.

But is it any different to men? Yes, to an extent, and no, to a large extent. If women's sexuality and sensuality has been most thought about, the case with men has been more tabooed. Yes it is. At least women discuss sex and body with peer; men don't (as much) discuss their issues and their body as much as they do about woman's bodies and their sexpedition (only in the realm of fantasy). We don't even discuss the brand of underwear. All agony uncle columns are flooded with doe-eyed worries about penis sizes and queries about the ill effects of masturbation. Why so? Because, the average male finds it uncomfortable to discuss about the issues and queries that he faces. In a group of boys there often is a discussion about how orgasmic a time he had with his girl, but wouldn't ask so freely about whether the size of his penis is adequate enough. It's interesting to note that many men don't know what a clitoris is. And many are ignorant about how to position their penises in their underwear so that it's most comfortable. Pain in the balls… dammid… we men face it too. But none speak about it, so it remains hush-hush… and thus doesn't stand a competition as against pain experienced by a woman in the chumming period.

What's alike in men and women is the heavy heart that they have after having sex. "I am sorry" is the expression after a stimulating session of love-making. As if, they have committed rape or treason. It is interesting to note that this feeling of guilt comes in with the spurt of cum. Till the couple is involved in the act, its heavenly orgasmic, post orgasm it's a sinister. Such abrupt is a shift of paradigms, many a times leaving the mind befuddled.

Why should someone be sorry for sex? Why is the prominence of sex so profound that every positive attribute of the person goes amiss in mind space when infidelity creeps in...? We often hear of relations going kaput because of the 3rd person involved. The person who strays might be a wonderful parent, a lovely partner, a homemaker in the true sense of the word, someone who sees no difference between in-laws and blood relations… still, if s/he strays, the relation wouldn't stay. How O human, could you turn blind and apathetic to the righteousness… besides sex? Why put sex in a pedestal and care aught about every goodness that a person is blissfully blessed with. Why care a tuppence if the bed that you make love in, harbors the scents of an other. In all possibility, this ain't the only cot that you have caught and fought in. Why care naught about love that binds, but about the lust that grinds.

Mom believes man is a whore. A man would stray, look at his case anyway. A woman would stay-put, no matter how much tempt you would. The hole makes the whole world go around. But id like to note, that exceptions to the rule exist. And I applaud those wonderful exceptions. Cliché or Trite or Right. Who cares?… it's subjective. Nahi Kya? I claim and stand by my stance, if my partner is slutty and strumpet. So be it. It makes no difference to me. . He needs to be wise, have a great heart, a smiling face, an intriguing creative mind, and an absolute prankster with masters in naughty pretentious crimes. Anyways, I am no saint, (and not all saints dont suffer erectile dysfunction, anyways) and would not expect someone to be what I am not. Too much of vagina, causes angina. And too much Penis, won't make you venus. I am not advocating infidelity; I am not saying multiple partners is a norm and nature, so accept it in culture. What im saying though is, don't be sorry for sex. Its the reason for your survival. And cootchie-cooing-cuddling-doing "with mutual adulation and wholesome consent" is beautiful.

well, some care a fuck, and some, show care with a fuck. but whats important is that they care.

So don't be sorry. With Consent, Never Sorry for Sex.


K said...

Whoaa! What was this, Aham? Right from the first line to the last (most of which I deliberately skipped and skimmed) the tone of your writing was bam! bam! bam! bam!

Pent up anger? Frustration? All good. But use it to your advantage and make a thought-provoking argument rather than decimating any and every anti-sex thought you've heard or any that came your way.

On the brighter side, I agree with your claim which is "never be sorry for sex". I also empathize with your angst against the so called moral brigade attempting to repress desire and label it unholy.

But where is all this leading you? I was expecting a direction or a furthering of this line of thought. Instead, the end was as abrupt as the beginning.

The embedded thought is good but the writing is bad. And for me, writing is a thinking tool. Sorry! I visited your blog after eons but this time round, your post is a little disappointing.

Just to add: The "why" question itself is problematic for it is judegmental. To investigate, reframe your question with what, where, when or how. And you will see the difference.

*Aham* said...

Hi K,

I can always bank on you for straight-from-the heart responses. I appreciate that. I wasnt frustrated or anything of that kind... was simply concerned. Yes, too many issues within an issue, i was speaking about. Though, it does make sense to me when I read it in one go... but from the readers end, i agree, something might be visibly amiss and abrupt.

And, Keep visiting K.

Miss you here...


Jagjit said...

Oh my god! You can bring a change man! That stuff was supremely original and fearless. Loved it.

bhu said...

My, My, that was on the face. Just Loved it from start to end.It should be sent to several poeple to create awareness..... It was like u want to blame those who kept a taboo on formal sex education all these years........heeee heeee. but that was great...... keep it up.

Divya said...


That made a fantastic read...

Pushkaraj Shirke said...


sex sells baby---

given the fact that this is an awesome piece of writing packed with some really funny and honest insights, and the fact that it is about SEX... im sure this one's gonna get read a lot!!!

keeep that page view count on buddy ;)

this one's rappcchhiikkk! :D


Pinku said...

very nice....honest and I can see all those heads shaking ....tsk tsk...what a thing to write and even think about.

but u are right our obsession with amazing....we cant stop thinking about it and we cant bring ourself to talk about it either.

chandni said...

wow! Just came your blog and loved the post!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to be a regular now I guess :)

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