Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Barkha Dutt and Me.

i've seen her on tv and have been mesmerised by her talent. i always wished for an opportunity to sit beside her. i wasnt as fascinated to be in her show as much as i was to be with her. and hurray, i got the opportunity to be a part of "we the people". i landed at the venue with my friend tony whom i had met just 10 minutes back for the first time. there was a lot of confusion this day. first we got the news that the show was called off as barkha's secretary had passed away. but minutes later i got a call from bharti from ndtv who informed me that te show is going to be shot as per schedule. i a cozy seat and found some great company in students of sies nerul, their professor avinash mantri was known to me, he used to teach at khalsa college. and i had tony mere baaju mein, who was great company, we were like minded and we got along like a house on fire.
barkha came in in the same kind of attire that i had last seen her from a distance at the national university of singapore (nus) auditorium when she was awarded thh best newsperson of the year at the asian tv awards. she was bubbly as ever. no one could tell that she had been through a personal crises just a few hours ago. and teh show started. shobha de, maureen wadia, shiv were in the panel. the topic was "does materialism define the new india". it was more for the publicity of shobha's book "superstar india" i guess. but whatever be the reason the topic was relevent. though i also agree with shiv when he says that these topics sound like b grade scripts in a time when in near future there are going to be wars fought for water and food.
here's the clip of the show. Click Here

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I Amn't Born To Virgins!

sex is the reason for our survival. i mean, i wasn’t born to virgins. my parents had sex. and your parents did too. not all of us are test-tube babies or immaculate conceptions. we all are sexual beings.


the government has realized the need to have sexually responsible citizens. a step towards the same, they have introduced sex education in class 9 and 11.


better late than never. but i guess that this will not be implemented smoothly. some perverted individuals who claim to be the torchbearers of morality would stand against it. and they should, why shouldn’t they. its their job to oppose anything that they practice on a daily basis. hindi films have made us aware about a variety of issues, and the corruption and the politicos want for sleazy sex. films how-much-ever fabricated, are a fruit of the thoughts of a thinker who draws inspiration from what-t s/he sees around her/him. so i am cocky about the cock headed assoles who love to lust, but hate if people speak about it.


those very pious minds, whom we call social reformers or politicians, who are woman worshippers, who have spent their lives with godly words like matherchod and bhenchod which form a part of their divine lingo, would oppose sex education.


realistically speaking (minus the sarcasm), this initiative is bold. it is much needed. i have a few facts about my own personal experience. my life could’ve been much easier if i was sexually educated. here are a few things that run in the mind of a 10 year old who goes though the ordeal of sex abuse.

then...

  • i thought that all kids go through sex abuse
  • i thought the only way that we could know about sex, is to be tutored by some perverted uncle
  • my mother believed that only the girl child needs to be protected
  • i thought that kids are born from the stomach
  • i thought a smooch was enough for making someone pregnant
  • i thought i got thin because all my energy went off in the form of sperm
  • i thought that every man has sex with other men, but finally had to get married to a woman
  • i thought that if the penis is inserted inside a vagina, the woman would die
  • i thought that if a woman says "mujhe bhagwaan ke liye chod do" kind of dialogues, she was being raped
  • i thought that rape was when a mans frontal collided with a woman’s frontal and the woman had a cut on the joint of her lips

so many myths enveloped a virgin mind of ten. though then, i lived an asexual lifestyle, eventually my vagabondish mind found out the right answers. (now i’m gay not because of abuse, but because i feel this way, and this is my orientation)


if myths need to be busted, truth needs to be told, then sex education HAS to be introduced.


sex is not all about fantasy and pornography. it is science.

~AHAM~

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

(AHAM Part # 05) Completed 29 Years Of Love

life for me has been a lovely journey. though i have had bitter experiences in my life, I am happy to see how its shaped up. today, i have turned 29. 29 years back in an army hospital in calcutta i was born. the doctor looked at my long fingers and told my mother "oh! your son is going to be famous, he is going to be an artist or a doctor". the person nect to my mother's bed looked at me and said "how come your son is so crooked, he looks completely disfigured". ewww! what a nasty thing to tell some one who has delivered for the first time. but i guess that was the truth, i was long, ugly, fair and my neck was protruding in a different direction, in complete dissonance with the rest of my body. i looked like a hawk. really. lol!
but then, from ugly duckling i metamorphosed to a swan. i just cant believe that i looked so cute. it clearly made a fantastic before/after picture. i was everyone's arm candy, born in a joint family, i had 3 mothers, and anyways i was a real low cost, easy maintainance long chubby baby. i never liked teh company of men those days. but didnt mind their company i was silent and soft spoken(may be that attracted the perverted assole as well)
i cant believe that i have traveleld so far, i have experienced extremes, crests and troughs are a part of life, and we have to choose to be happy and composed as no phase would be forever. every phase shall phase out, sooner or later. we cant let a nihilistic delusion creep in our lives. i can well imagine that if i let things affect me, id have been a nobody in my eyes. we all need positive affirmations. and even in the most trying times of my life, i never let the bouts of negativity to envelope me for long.
i believe that theres always an inner self to every one. our lives are governed by the voices that speak to us and only us: our inner voices. it can make you a devil or an angel. and when you gain expertise to train them as per your will. you are a maverick. i believe that everyone is entitled to an opinion. everyone has the right to think uniquely. and think he is right. i am a staunch veggie who adores animals and so doesn't eat them. but most of my pals think differently. and the first guy i fell in love with. thinks diametrically opposite. he lived on meat and flesh, i loved mutter and aalu. he loved english music, i loved hindi. he loved parties, i loved the curtains at home. i loved him, he didn't love me. we were so different. lol.
but yes, we spoke for hours and hours and hours on the phone. we behaved as if we were inseparable love birds. just that we weren't never said the golden words "i love you". i took it for granted. and something that i never thought would happen, happened. he is a bundle of joy, a sweetheart, and though, i disagree with him in many points, i respect him for giving me what i had never experienced... "getting lost in someones thoughts so so deeply" . if he reads this post. id want him to know. that i might differ in views, but would love him wholly and in full measure. he is someone who wouldn't like being my object of affection. but the heart of the matter is that, no one has control on the matters of the heart. there have been instances when i have thought that he was inhumane and ruthless. but there have also been moments where he has enveloped me with his thoughts and prolific views. love and hate are two very strong feelings. i don't feel that easily for any. and if i feel so, the feeling lingers for ever. just that the dimensions of the relationship change often.
now i don't speak to him that often. and he doesn't remember me well. but theres something that i can surely tell.
id never wish ill for you.
for you have been one of the best parts of my life.
but now i am waiting for a broken star to bring someone who will prove it over and over again. lol.
picture abhi baaki hai dost.

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