Sunday, November 30, 2008

Bombay: The City That Sleeps

I have finally managed to cry... and as I write this post there are tears trickling down my cheeks. Bombay is such a beautiful city, and look at what a bunch of maniacs have done to my beloved Bombay. I don't want to reinforce clichés. Bouncing back to normalcy, now, But that's what we  call the "true spirit of a resilient Bombay"? To feel sorry and then turning indifferent in a spitz second???? We are angry, we are upset, we are shocked, we are dead… but we are smiling. Smiling, not because we are immune, but because we fear to fear. There is fire in our belly and there is pain in our hearts. But we are smiling. Still smiling.

I work at masjid, which is one station away from VT (CST) the station that was also attacked. When In the train, I heard some "rumor" about terrorist attacks. I had a co passenger who started weeping. I realized that this indeed "might not" be a rumor. I got down the train and took a cab to the terror site. TAJ hotel. There was chaos. There were people running helter shelter. No one could make any sense. Suddenly, for a splits' second rationality harbored in me, and I thought it made no sense waiting over there. So, I returned home and all through the travel from office to home I wondered what I could do to help. I came home and started the and I received my first phone call around 40-45 mins after I started it.

Amnesic, I am in normal times. So the question of remembering my first call is far too much to expect from myself, given the turbulent times. That was the first call. And then there was another, and another, and another, and another. Frantic relatives and friends from across the world started calling me. I have no clue. How they reached my blog, even before I had submitted it to google search. Probably it was the chain email that I had sent to all in my contact list that did the magic. May be someone added my blog to the list. I scanned the websites and found the Mumbai Help blog. A wonderful initiative by Peter who goes by the name zigzacly. Through that blog and through NDTV I managed to update people with real time information. There were people who were applauding me. But there was no time to pause for applause. I went on, every call had a new story. Every call dealt with a new life. I transmitted howmuchever hope I could, I lied to those helplessly down that things would be fine. I knew, heart-of-heart though, that things were getting worse. Casualties were increasing.

People from all nationalities called me. There were 4-5 or more callers from Singapore. And most of them, ironically, if I can remember were calls by sons looking for their father. I don't remember which call was who. I am definitely mixing people. But there was one caller who was trying his father's number and couldn't reach him. His voice was chocked when he called me. He breathed on to the phone receiver more than he spoke. I took the number of his father from him and called, father was fine. I informed the son. And the son took the phone and stayed mum, mum for a long 3-4 minutes, I was scared that the son has suffered a heart attack. Suddenly then, I heard his voice. He said "Thank You"."Thank You"

There was this other person who wanted to speak to his friend to tell him that he was sorry. I looked at the deceased list and informed him that his friends name doesn't feature, so there is hope still. The caller was an optimist and believed that his friend would be fine. But I got a call from him in a while. He told me that he will not be able to say sorry to his friend ever.

I am a diehard positive being. But I have started believing that when the time has come, then the time has come. Ashish Chowdhary, Sabina's husband, Rabi's friends all were hoping against hope. And when their hopes were smashed it hurt me terribly. It hurt me terribly, to see Ashish who just a while ago, had been seen speaking confidently to the media about his sister, drowned in tears. I wished I could be with him and hug him. Rabi's son was orphaned, he was with his nanny.

My phone kept ringing, but I had no time to shed a tear. I also got some calls from Media people from BBC, CNN, Los Angeles radio, Khaleej Times, TOI and many more. Their questions were crisp and my answers, live and unedited. It was important to speak to the media. The media has a super role to play in situations like these. And if our commandos are to be saluted, so are some people from the media. Meanwhile, I had Limin, a media student of Khalsa college and Demetrius, a media student from Wilson College, both shared the responsibility with me for a while. I could then take the much needed break…

My back was aching and I lay numb. Day passed, night enveloped. The frequency of calls reduced. I had time to reflect.

I wondered, how this mayhem? From where did the terrorists enter? It was the sea. But don't we have coast guards? How did they walk to VT station? No one watched them? How is that possible?

I understand now. In the city that never sleeps, probably someone has overslept. Someone has overslept. Someone has overslept.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Resilience???What’s Resilience? Fuck Resilience!

Resilience, the very word has become a swear. How long are we going to fool ourselves with these clichés? I wish to inform you, that Bombay doesn't have a choice. Bombay has to travel by trains. Bombay has to work to live. Come Bomb Or Terror, Bombay will have to be on her toes. I repeat she doesn't have a choice. Bombay is inane. And her inanity is thanks to clichés.

Business and busyness, Bombay has just 2 attributes.

Response to the stimuli Or reaction only when there is action. We will not act… only react, isn't it? How many bomb blasts, how many deaths, how many blemishes would it take for us to preempt terror… especially when there has been a spate of terror attacks? When will we wake from our sleep and when we will get up and scream? We have been far too silent… and our act of cowardice and numbness is called "resilience" Do we even realize. We have become a joke. More bigger a joke than what Indian politicians are.

We either praise or we criticize, Bombay is incapable of doing both at the same time.

I Applaud and Salute the officers who sacrificed their lives. I have immense respect for them.

But isn't it true that the whole drama could have been averted had the coast guards been vigilant.

How the hell did these terrorists enter from the seas. ? can anyone enter like that, without being seen? WAO. (pun intended)How on earth did they walk so calmly with arms and that too, arm in arm?. Why did we buggers see them and not do anything… ? Did we think that the guns are toys from Leo Mattel?

Perhaps we did. They fooled us. They fooled the fools.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Mumbai Terror Helpline

I have started a new blog..

Please send updates there... lets help online...

Mumbai Blasts.

Are you in a foreign country and are frantically trying to find if your loved ones are safe???

Please drop inthe numbers and names of your loved ones.. I will try calling them.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Arse You Like It!

watch it! you definitely will like it.  people have been unanimous in awarding john the best butt award. but as far as the movie dostana goes, the reactions have been mixed.  my blogdost shobhaa de and some others think that this movie is a butt of jokes on gays that reinforces the clichés that exist... and treats them as odd and ott. de ends her article in BT with a note about john's butt is far more expressive than his face. 
this time i disagree with my lovely blogdost. yes, abhi has acted very very well, if i were in the jury i would give abhishek the award for best actor. i consider him an effortless actor. but i also see johns acting improve over time. and his performance and looks in this movie are wao. yes, he doesnt have that naughty smirk in his face as abhi does... but his face is so, and what will john bechaara do, if he is made like this. 
i love john for his offscreen camaraderie as well. he is totally devoted to social causes and whatever he says is believable and straight from the heart. im sanguine about him being genuine and truthful. 

yesterday, i had been invited by vikram doctor to the special screening of dostana at famous studios. i had a chance to meet tarun mansukhani the director of dostana there, he seemed quite a jovial and kind hearted human being. down to earth that he was, he had no airs about being such a talked about director. 

this movie is special to me becau
se it helped me come out to my  sister. here is an anecdote that i shared with the media as well.  on saturday, i had watched dostana with my sister laxmi who is 13 year old. she throughly enjoyed the movie. post the movie, i thought, the time now was appropriate to come out to her. when we were in the escalator, i told her, that i am gay. she didnt react for a few seconds. and then all of a sudden she asked me..."are you gay like john, or are you gay like abhishek". 

isnt that sweet. :-) the reel helps you in real. 

here are the videos and the article.

NDTV 24x7 
Zoom TV

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Not Sorry For Sex!

Eyes, nose, mouth, teeth, chest, abdomen, leg, feet … what ever happened to the penis and vagina? Remove the god damn underwear from school textbooks, I say. Let us not spend their lives till adolescence in curiosity and ignorance, till finally, and many-a-times after a few experiments with peer, the horny dear and near, we understand the growing urges and functions of the protruding edges.

That's childhood for us. A trend that continues to adolescence to adult hood and all through life. We choose to have a weighty heart in our endeavor of safeguarding our extremely sacrosanct bodies. If you are a woman and also a widow or a divorcee, the society turns a blind mind to your hot flushes in the night, getting you to find refuge in a life saver carrot or fingers to relieve, but sex… "oh! What will society say?" I wonder how long? How long will we continue to torment our women with our make-believe sex-guards? An invisible thread edged out by the alpha male and foolishly and cowardly practiced by women to trouble their kind. That's so so unkind.

It's okay if you teach your kids to be responsible and treat sex responsibly. It is okay, if we educate kids and tell them that there's an age for sex. But we just wouldn't do that. For us, sex is bad and one should abstain from it. So, if a woman is thirty and plans to be a spinster… she dies a virgin. Isn't it? And no one teaches growing kids how to deal with orgasms. Telling your kids what a condom is … oh! That's too farfetched a thought… I have seen girls at puberty fret thinking that they are going to bleed to death. In pursuit of maintaining the ISI seal, 'the perpetual virginal state' until hubby does it apart.

"… You are destined to Abstain from it. Nature has chosen you to be this way", tells a mother of a young 22 year old chick, who is a divorcée. This girl barely had a few sexpisodes until she had to deal with the harsh and untimely estrangement with her husband. But what about her sexual fantasies? what about the innermost urges?… society, is abruptly vociferous in condemning and defining what (according to them) is natural and unnatural. Isn't the urge for sex natural? She desires sex, but has no intention to remarry. So, if she 'does' she is a Devil, if she 'does not do' she is a Devi. That's how the male chauvinistic society wants the woman to be, Devi and Whore. Just 2 compartments. Period.

But is it any different to men? Yes, to an extent, and no, to a large extent. If women's sexuality and sensuality has been most thought about, the case with men has been more tabooed. Yes it is. At least women discuss sex and body with peer; men don't (as much) discuss their issues and their body as much as they do about woman's bodies and their sexpedition (only in the realm of fantasy). We don't even discuss the brand of underwear. All agony uncle columns are flooded with doe-eyed worries about penis sizes and queries about the ill effects of masturbation. Why so? Because, the average male finds it uncomfortable to discuss about the issues and queries that he faces. In a group of boys there often is a discussion about how orgasmic a time he had with his girl, but wouldn't ask so freely about whether the size of his penis is adequate enough. It's interesting to note that many men don't know what a clitoris is. And many are ignorant about how to position their penises in their underwear so that it's most comfortable. Pain in the balls… dammid… we men face it too. But none speak about it, so it remains hush-hush… and thus doesn't stand a competition as against pain experienced by a woman in the chumming period.

What's alike in men and women is the heavy heart that they have after having sex. "I am sorry" is the expression after a stimulating session of love-making. As if, they have committed rape or treason. It is interesting to note that this feeling of guilt comes in with the spurt of cum. Till the couple is involved in the act, its heavenly orgasmic, post orgasm it's a sinister. Such abrupt is a shift of paradigms, many a times leaving the mind befuddled.

Why should someone be sorry for sex? Why is the prominence of sex so profound that every positive attribute of the person goes amiss in mind space when infidelity creeps in...? We often hear of relations going kaput because of the 3rd person involved. The person who strays might be a wonderful parent, a lovely partner, a homemaker in the true sense of the word, someone who sees no difference between in-laws and blood relations… still, if s/he strays, the relation wouldn't stay. How O human, could you turn blind and apathetic to the righteousness… besides sex? Why put sex in a pedestal and care aught about every goodness that a person is blissfully blessed with. Why care a tuppence if the bed that you make love in, harbors the scents of an other. In all possibility, this ain't the only cot that you have caught and fought in. Why care naught about love that binds, but about the lust that grinds.

Mom believes man is a whore. A man would stray, look at his case anyway. A woman would stay-put, no matter how much tempt you would. The hole makes the whole world go around. But id like to note, that exceptions to the rule exist. And I applaud those wonderful exceptions. Cliché or Trite or Right. Who cares?… it's subjective. Nahi Kya? I claim and stand by my stance, if my partner is slutty and strumpet. So be it. It makes no difference to me. . He needs to be wise, have a great heart, a smiling face, an intriguing creative mind, and an absolute prankster with masters in naughty pretentious crimes. Anyways, I am no saint, (and not all saints dont suffer erectile dysfunction, anyways) and would not expect someone to be what I am not. Too much of vagina, causes angina. And too much Penis, won't make you venus. I am not advocating infidelity; I am not saying multiple partners is a norm and nature, so accept it in culture. What im saying though is, don't be sorry for sex. Its the reason for your survival. And cootchie-cooing-cuddling-doing "with mutual adulation and wholesome consent" is beautiful.

well, some care a fuck, and some, show care with a fuck. but whats important is that they care.

So don't be sorry. With Consent, Never Sorry for Sex.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

A Fag End by Fag Friend (excerpt)

The word that’s on everyone’s lips is “fag”. The word on the lips is fine, but fag on the lips is unkind, says our beloved minister. It takes a man with real guts and gumption to stand against the puff lobby and fight for the rights of non smokers. In all organizations, I should admit that there has been a huge clout of smokers smoking off with zilch regard for the nonsmokers. I have resisted the temptation to scream my lungs off at smokers and dopers, many of them my very close associates, and being close I understood they would never understand. “How does it matter to you”, they’d ask. Well, it does, if you drink, you die. If you smoke I die with you… and I want to live. Smokers don’t care about the ones who inhale the smoke irrespective of whether they like it or not, and then when they get diseases like cancer and chronic bronchitis, smokers hush it and come-what-may would not believe that this is because of their vice. Some feel it’s’ wise to vice. Rebels without thought are worse than rebels without cause.

...Click Here to read the complete article

 didnt want to cross post, hence just an excerpt, I am a member of family/contributor for the world renowned Mam Movies group.

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