Thursday, May 28, 2009

It Happened. It 'Just' Happened.

in the pic: grandpa and me

A tender child of 7 was touched and his body was infringed upon. And the child didn’t know the word to define his then present condition. As he grew, he called it rape. People said, “correction boy, it’s called  child sexual abuse”.  With the liberty of language and the plurality that life endows, the vocabulary enriched and the miseries multiplied in direct proportion. 

Adjectives changed - “careless” childhood, “callous” adolescence “careful” adulthood and now “thoughtful” 30. But the issue stood the test of time. The issue of the past that was still incomplete. So much so, that all the actions of today were a response to what happened yesterday… The child was angry because of he said he was raped, the child was happy because he said he was not happy like this ever, he said he was scared of men because it was a man who inserted and asserted his manhood on him. it gave peace, tranquil and satisfaction   to define nowness basis thenness.  

Until one day, the child decided to stop “growing from”, and start “growing into”.  He decided first to complete his past. His resolute was to cleanse himself of the hatred and pardon himself foremost and not think he is responsible as “he was”, but whittle his path on what “he will be”.  He decided to deal with every issue that bothered him “headstrong”; he spoke to every problem in his life - the man who ripped him off his innocence, the people like his parents whom he thought did zilch, the friends who ran a vilify campaign in school that impelled him to make a botched attempt to end his being, the woman who shut  the door on him because she got a flying hearsay that he was a sex maniac … and everyone else whom he had a grouse about, and also the ones whom he presumed had a burly  grip of gripe against him… The world watched as he defeated his weakness, shed his inhibitions, dealt with every creature that he once said was an evil ogre… and completed the conversation. In the end, there was no conclusion as such, there was no interpretation… but the yearning in his heart was quenched with this act. He decided then, that he shall not presume things about people and will not trouble himself with the poison called hatred. He then understood that his ability to relate with the pain of others was in fact his strong suite that he was born with. It was his nature, and experience nurtured it.  He realized that it doesn’t matter what went in the making of he. He is so, and that’s the truth.He is what he is now. no present and future dooms due to past gloomy looms. 

The child is me. The child is Abhimanyu. And I am just one of the many Abhimanyu’s in this story that’s told by my film maker pal Onir. Abhimanyu  is a film based on child sexual abuse.  It is much the need of time, for incest as a reality looms in our world today. A film that tells people don’t feel sorry for them.  Feel sorry for yourself, for pity is all you have. 

As a person who has let past be where it belongs, and has let bygones be bygones… and is now being present in his present I clearly can define what thoughts I had as someone who dealt with the gory incidence of child abuse. It was a time we cried, we died, we failed, we bled, we failed, we wailed, and eventually we hailed, we conquered and we won... But we still weren’t one with the possibility called tomorrow and the reality called now. 

Abhimanyu is one such bridge to this gap that throws light on what goes around in a survivors mind. It promises to show fellow survivors a mirror that will help rethink and reengineer their present. 

Abhimanyu could be your friend – listen to him and understand.

Abhimanyu could be your brother – share with him and take what he shares.

Abhimanyu could be your husband – tell him you would be there for him, but you want him to be there for himself. 

Abhimanyu could be your child - hug him, communicate! Tell him,  let’s take action, now.  and tell him later.. It doesn’t matter what happened. It just happened. It just happened. And what happened need not be defined. It just happened. 

Do you know of an Abhimanyu. Stand up for him! OWN ABHIMANYU! Co Own a film. 

About the deal… read  here.


ankita said...

I am speechless....wonder why i dont have as much strenght

Vishal said...


i dont know what to say, I never understand you writing all this over and over because usually when u meet in person, u r so fun loving and happy go lucky types. Anyways Keep us amazing like this again and again and again...

Nadhiya Mali said...


Tats really sad.

But this shows how important it is to have sex education.

In India Sex is always seen as a dirty word. People are apprehensive to talk about it in public.

They should rise and voice out what they have been thru.

our government is still wondering if sex education be made a part of education.

Even more important is the role of parents. They need to understand the pain of their child, what he/ she is going thru. Its their duty to protect their kids. Not blast them away but sit with them and talk it out.

Srivats said...

Hey bro

came here from prats blog, I am so sorry I know an abhimanyu - thats me

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