Friday, July 03, 2009

Today Is THE Tomorrow I Always Wished For, Yesterday

Yesterday a stone was hurled at me Yesterday, I was hated and there was a slander campaign against me in college... Yesterday there was graffiti plastered on college walls that made me look like a whore. Yesterday, I was a bully. Yesterday I was infamous for my natural leanings. Yesterday, I was a victim. Yesterday, my body was abused. Yesterday, I thought my body was disfigured. Yesterday, I was confused. Yesterday, I lived in my past. Yesterday was a stand still. Yesterday, I was extorted because of what I was.

But that was yesterday. A yesterday full of pain and hatred and fruitless desires. But I’m glad it was there. For us to win over something, that something needs to exist. Today, as compared to the gory past, the present basks itself in glory. I recognized what I was, and ever since I saw no shame in me being myself. The world started looking at me with a different pair of eyes. Today I am openly a homosexual. I am out. And about. And have no qualms about it.

My sexuality is a non issue for me. Do straight men think “I am straight, I am straight”… no! Similarly I don’t need to hum this as a hymn every day… but when the need arises, I need to speak up… speak up for the other India, that’s not me. That other India which is in the closet. That other India which is faces the wrath of near and dear and dies every day. A law was needed for that other India so that no one uses law as a pretext to force them into the closet, into NOT BEING what they are. And no one forces them to marry and jeopardize the life of a woman.

Today, It’s legal. Today democracy rules. Today I am legal.

... The fact that I can roll over the hay with any adult, is just one minuscule part of the liberty I get… it does a great deal of good to humankind. The police can now focus on Rape, Terrorists and other gory crimes that are committed rather than running behind lovers who are making love. It’s a great step.

But I am sure some people who never spoke so vehemently against Kasab or Terrorists or Rapists would be up in arms against homosexuality. Sex inspires them – anything sexual they are against and will make sure that their disapproval is heard … is a deviation… is not gods plan… they say. I would say religion is an interpretation. And man could interpret that according to his whims and fancies. I agree with them when they say, Nature comes first. And whats unnatural should be banned. And it’s not un natural to love. “In present circumstances , given the population explosion… its anti natural to breed. So nature engineers homosexual genes to combat this global threat” – this is my interpretation.. and for me I am right. It natural to feel love and make love. Homosexuality is seen in animals. And is natural. So is it in homosapiens.

Now coming to some funny people… Some people stoop and some people simply poop. Those who stoop can be handled, those who poop need some extra pairs of clothing to help them take care of their filth. Our Atta boy from Bangalore Pramod cries for a little too much attention. Mmm… what’s the clinical word? Yah yah.. it is called loose motion.

Pramod needs a plastic pink boxer, pocketwala ho toh better.

Who pramod?… samajdaar ko ishaara hi kaafi hai… izzint it?

pic courtesy:


adee said...

anyone who dictates others how to live their lives should be given similar boxer, pocketwala or not!

hardik said...

am i glad or wat to b d 1st to comment ;).

i've said it b4, and will say it again, u r an inspiration to a lot of ppl. I knw some frnds of mine who are gay and i know wat they go thru, mebbe now they could come out of their closet too..!

keep up d good work ! u knw d ppl who are wid u always ! ;)


Anonymous said...

I felt so much happiness from inside that I just can't express. I'm straight and I dont know anyone in real life who is gay ( may be those I know have not come "out" ) .But at the same time I'm NOT one of those hypocrites who don't accept the presence of homosexuals.
And u knw what, while coming back from work yesterday I was feeling as we have a newfound freedom.There was not a single procession or some exhilaration going on in the streets, but I was somewhere else.. Dancing to this victory..
But still we have a long way to go..
Congo 4 this one and best of luck 4 future! :-)

KSH said...

Hey Aham.

I am glad to revisit this space and overjoyed to see our country revist and revise an archaic law.

The world's biggest democracy may have taken this long, but boy! when the decision was announced it felt like being born all over again. I have come across naysayers - both straight and gay, who said this day would never come. But it did and how. These are truly great times.

More so because India can now serve as a model of thought for countries where alternate sexuality/gender identity/gender expression is a social and legal offense.

Aham, I believe this is just a pause. The movement continues and it will beyond our life time. Issues of social justice, morality and sexuality remain intertwined, in even the most forward parts of the world, in extremely complicated ways.

And this is what advocacy does. It tirelessly works at developing and presenting a vision that can entangle social/legal myopia.

Cheers! to this day and many more to come. Let us keep the conversation going for without it, even the most enlightened can easily return to their caves of ignorance.

Firebolt said...

Hello Aham!

I discovered your blog only a few days ago and have been going over your archives. You are a very strong person, Aham, and I'm glad that you've defeated the demons of your past to stand tall where you are now and make a difference in this world. It gives me great joy to hear that you are completely out now without any fear or inhibition. It will be a while before I get there but one day surely I will also come out completely, never to go back in.


Srivats said...

So well writtern
congrats! all the best to all!

Please Drop A Comment