Friday, September 04, 2009

Cutie Ya!

Sanity is an endangered species, and I am realizing that more loudly and lewdly these days. Every day I meet new good people, who take their goodness to doom if not bloom. I met Mr. X online and shared with him a difference of opinion, and was met with a lot of yet un- experienced indifference. It was about the issue of abuses in Hindi that always cornered the woman. I don't swear usually… and even if I do so it's always in a closed group, and just for fun. He overheard me swear in one such moment and started hyperventilating. Poor thing. I felt very sorry for his myopic attitude. I felt so sorry for him that I am dedicating a complete blogpost for the word – cutie ya.

Sometimes we take things a little too literally. It was the poor C word that I used. Poor because, previously the word was always awarded an exclusive audience in Hindi films and an A certificate. Now it doesn't, the C word is given a U certificate and is watched heard and used by all and sundry. Hissing Kids from Malabar hill, to the kissing boyfriends of five gardens to the lively lanes of Dharavi – all use this word with great intonation, affection and causes no infliction but causes a lovely infection… the word sinks in your mouth, and people wag their tongue to say it with the perfect vowels… it's a part of the system, not excreted ever in the bowels. It's a replacement "how are u doing buddy" eg: "saala cutie ya kaisa hai".

This is a word that has no meaning most times, but means the world to so many. I find it harmless. For some it is a takia kalam. They love the word so much. I find it sounds sweet, and don't make a fuss of it. But there is a flip side to every goodness. Some people use the word in anger. Some spit and sweat it out when they use the word. Gussa Thook Do. Now that's not something that I like. Use the C word with dignity. Not as an abuse, in gussa.

I dislike people who use the C word that way in anger. For in anger, I believe the true inner self is shown in all its sheen to the world. In that state of consciousness, I resolutely feel… "referring to a woman's anatomy in any way literally is either a sign of either erectile dysfunction or horny desperation." And its always a woman. Its always Maa Ki… or Behen --- etc, or the anuvaad in chaste English

When I say Cutie Ya for that matter, it sounds like upaasna and not vaasna. And I use the word quite prudently. And very privately... I don't think of the V or the G spot when I use the word. I just use it! On the contrary I find the F word quite interesting; I like the word because it is not sexist. Anyone can do a fuck up! Aadmi/aurat no bar. You see.
For all those of those infertile men who use the C word, I have devised some words to add to their vocabulary. After all, we cant let out the man alone. There has to be an Indian Penal (lol) Code na. Like we have a C code. I have realized that we cannot stop people from using those words. They need our sympathy and should be treated as patients for their disorder that's a part of their psyche.

And ghalib has said "if you cant cure them, join them" (was ghalib na?)
So if you are a woman or respect women, and you spot that there are many people interested in verbalizing your tops and bottoms… or pay respects to your mother's and sister's. Just cure them with similar words. But change the gender.

Say Bratha Fcuker or Father Ch@d

Funny as it may sound. Men don't have the guts or the balls. They cant bear slurs if reversed.
Cure the dimwitted Y chromosome by giving them a taste of their own excreta.

P.S. Please lets observe a two minute silence for the lost morality of men world over.


ruSh.Me said...

I guess it was the old English proverb..

Ghalib saab would have said Har ek baat pe kahate ho tum ki CUTIE YA kyaa hai...!!

Anonymous said...

I never thought one could write on abuse and still not use an abusive language..strange to hear..but i hear cutie ya so many times that it irritates me..but as u said they dont mean that they say..its almost like saying shit not knowing they are speaking of something disgustingly ugly!(well..but then this ugly thing is also a part of you right? )

but the later part of the post suggests me much more than just gives me the picture of abuser and the abusee(dunno if there exists such a word...)..if you are trying to show(for a moment ignoring these abuses,their origin,meaning and influences) exploitation of our maa's and behan's then i love this.. because i always write against it..and respect women a lot! what we say doesnt mean much than what we do ,right?

Saurangshu Kanunjna said...

Wow a whole new meaning to cutie ya.. trust me if at all someone can carry off such writeup it has to be Harish... witty, true, amazingly crafted...

I have been using cutie ya with friends without actually abusing or may be meaning the literal way..

Well one think for sure I learned two new words today Bratha f**ker & Father Ch*d.. well wait may be there are few more.. aah not here not here :)


*Aham* said...


hhahah. pardon my GK

yaa. our lingos need to improve.


faaak... use it i say!

Shibani said...

haha..I use the word 'CHANDU'...that's a combo of Cutie Ya & Ga*du :) and it's not yet got me into trouble :)

Toon India said... the upassanna..I agree many ppl. don't have the stomach for humour ..GA****S..I say :)

Anonymous said...

your posts are too good,so sensibleand so normal.

ok ok am very bad at english so wil copy paste Saurangshu Kanunjna ka comment
Wow a whole new meaning to cutie ya.. trust me if at all someone can carry off such writeup it has to be Harish... witty, true, amazingly crafted...
I dont know Harish but love his posts..

Jil Jil Ramamani said...

heh!!! Am so going to try this next time! :D awesomeness.

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