Thursday, June 17, 2010

Truth is the stranger, not fiction.

My article published in the eZine – Pink Pages read it here :

He was handsome. Nice. Good looking. He flaunted his dimple, looked rich. He was appeasing and pleasing; he left my hormones bumping and heart pumping. I met him at the loo. A public loo. A place not so sacrosanct for meeting someone for the first time, I know. I found him handsome, and his eyes said that the feeling was mutual. Time was fleeting, every second seemed an hour. I wanted my body to collide with his. Feel his lips with mine. But I had no time. I had my mother waiting for me home. And before I could make the move and give him "those" looks… my ringtone broke the monotony. It was my mom; she was screeching "dinner is set, where the hell you are". I softly replied "on my way", she hanged the phone and my fate hanged in misbalance of thoughts. My mind was back in the drain. It was a feeling insane. And before I could gather all my thoughts, he moved behind the urinal and flashed his willy. I got scared, my face charred, and my fright was on my face bare. I rushed out of the unholy place. I was horny, but I wasn't willing to "do it" with a stranger. An absolute stranger.
He followed me. I got into a different building to deceive him. After around 5 minutes I got down the strange building and headed home. And yippee, finally I breathe a sigh of relief, now that the drama has ended. I joyously hip-hopped to my home, played with my dog. I stood at my balcony to feel the wind. And aghast I was. He stood there, smiling and winking at me. I wasn't out-n-about then. I was scared now that I was busted. He stood there giving me signals for a while and later vanished into the oblivion.
Days passed, I never saw him again. Eons later, I again went to the same loo with no other intention other than emptying my bladder. As I was about to leave, I found the same stranger. This time, he had a smile that said much more than what it did before. I was also not that petrified. He followed me out and as I walked briskly, he walked beside me. I tried ignoring him, as his hands collided with mine while walking. Suddenly, he firmly held my hand. I looked at him with a smirk. He asked- "jagaah hai mere paas, paas mein hi hai" (I have place, it is close by) I replied "abhi nahi" (not now). He insisted and I kept refusing. Suddenly, he pulled my hand and took me to the water tank of a building. As we reached there, he unzipped and popped out his penis and asked me to blow him. I tried running away. He requested me to hold his penis. I obliged. And hell broke as I touched his penis. He slapped me real hard. He screamt "saala Matherc!@d, Gud… mooh mein lega, har!@mi. police ko bataoo kyaa?" (Mother fuc@#$, faggot, U will blow??, bastar!, should I report to the police). I was petrified. And as I was speaking to him, there were a policeman passed by giving at the stranger the "I know you" look. The stranger still had his penis visible. Though his backside was facing the policeman. The stranger slapped me multiple times, and demanded a blow. I was scared. He scanned my wallet and took even the change I had. Luckily, I wasn't wearing my gold chain or though I lost my watch. After money and pleasure, he left me. I ran home and told mom that I was robbed. Ofcourse, I was too scared and too much in the closet to tell her the gory details. My father launched a police complaint. But as expected nothing happened. I was scared to travel alone for a long long time. I changed my route, and my mode of transport. It took me many many years to wake up
Later, many years later, I heard several similar stories from my friends. Many with gory outcomes. Newspapers in Mumbai had reported the murder of a BARC scientist, and though not proven, they suspected gay extortion to be a reason. Similarly there has been a similar case in lokhandwala, Mumbai that I have heard of. And many many such incidences have happened with my gay friends. They have been mugged and molested, but what's most scary is the fact that this incidence has silenced their confidence and they now trust no body. One of them, was deep in the closet, and contemplated suicide. It took several discussions and meetings with other gay men to actually get him to regain his feet.
It is important to be cautious, at 30ish now; it'd be blatant white lie if I'd say that I have not had flings. But anytime that I am out on an aphrodisiacal expedition, I ensure that at least one friend of mine is in the know of my whereabouts. And of course, I don't carry much cash, no credit/debit cards and no costly ornaments.
It is important, so that we are a strong community with many friends so that we can fall back on someone or the other for help. And yeah, it is important that we speak up and if we can, report such cases.
And Now, A Film On This Issue
A positive step forward, is a film that's coming up. Onir's film "I AM" is an ensemble of 4 stories knitted together with the common thread of fear. Of these 4 stories, "I AM OMAR" uncovers the nexus between the police and male commercial sex workers. Played by the talented Arjun Mathur and Rahul Bose, this film should be added to your must-watch list. The latest update from Onir is that "I AM" would be releasing sometime in the month of July-August 2010. 

You wish to do something about this issue, silently? well, you could also be a part of this film which truly intends to make a difference. I AM is a crowd-sourced film. Onir invites you to "co-own" the film by contributing as less as Rs. 1000. The film already has some 400 co owners and producers spread across countries and continents. Details of the same could be sought at


Anonymous said...

coming from a progressive canada family i find this reality different ... living in dubai ... i meet so many who hide form wives and family ... when will the people be free to be and be honest ...

Poonam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Poonam said...

Though I m not a homosexual, nor have i really had friends from that preferences, but I still have been working actively while in UK for rights of transsexuals and Homosexuals. Its a shame that we in India don't respect the individuality but the sexual preferences!

Please Drop A Comment