Wednesday, October 27, 2010

My Anadi in Kannadi!

Im so fucked up at times. Trying to understand my trying emotions that often go haywire… has never been easy. And you are responsible for this. You are bloody responsible for this!

I mean, I was a nice boy. A nice seedha-sadha TamBrahm from the new of bombay. And see what you have done to me! See what you have done.

I remember three days before Independence Day this year that I met you and lost my independence forever. O I remember, that night that I was criss-crossing around in the gay lanes of a dating -mating site and I found you. you seemed so different. You had your whole CV put up on a dating site. Aiyyo! I thought, you had real balls. Like I do. Unapologetic about what you are born as. Then we chatted over the phone. It was shocking to know that you were a southie too. And a tam. And a brahm. And a chemburkar. Happpa! Too much I say! I quickly started drawing family trees in my mind. Aden Gappa… so wonderful it would be to know that one of my cousins was gay. And “out” out there. Id love to retort when some crazy atthai /chottai of mine says “aiyyo! you do boy-boy”.. with a candid “It is your gene’s coy-ploy”. Wallah!

I decided to meet you for a decent cup of coffee. And no hanky-panky. I was waiting at vashi station, close to the ticket counter. And there you stood… kaan mein jhumka.. chaal mein thumkaa.. types. I still remember that anadi in kannadi, wearing some crazy thing on his wrist. You were yapping away to glory intellectually over the phone. Like a zygotic hybrid of bappi lahari and jumpa lahari. You then kept your phone and started talking to me. And mashhallah! In less than ½ an hour you shared your akhaa khandaan ka details. I thought you have your screw dheela. Then I thought about how I used to start ranting about the ifs and buts of my life, to any stranger… with dew filled eyes… full of hope… you almost had shamelessly taken over the emotions that I so fondly had a copyright on. HUH!
we dined and decided to take a walk in the straight lanes of vashi in the dead of night. We walked from one gully to the other, from cross roads to dead ends, from foot paths to man holes. I remember I was so engrossed that I hit a lamp post and had a bleeding toe. Inside I was going aiyyo aiyyo.. outside I was smiling and yapping with the yapping you. That dud of a thing, were you. 22 years young. And I the fataaka at 31. Soon I realized age is a matter of the mind, it doesn’t matter if you don’t mind.  We walked chumma chumma over the streets…  and we did no chumma-chaati. I looked at his lips and his beauty spot. But nothing lustily. Guess, we cant “lust”ify  and justify everything. 

In the middle of this beautiful night that I was spending with you, Platonically. Under the lonely moon that was just out of the cocoon, came a screeching noise of my mom. She had the dinner ready and wanted to sleep. i had to bid good bye to you and rush home. You said, I will follow me till my house. I wondered in my mind, that is to much illaiyya? … for a 22 year old tamil pullai to be so late out with a 31 year old ghabru jawaan… it was some 12:15 or so. You came to khandeshwar station. I stood there, with you. we were late. Real late. You had to head back to your  chembur. I offered taking you home. But inside inside, wondered what I would tell my parents.  The police uncle, I asked “last gaadi kitne bajje ki hai”… and it was a train to belapur.  Aiyyo. Calculations started in my Tam Brahmish  mandaiii.   The taxi meter was speeding in my mind. I thought “how will a young boy spend so much to go by cab from belapur to chembur” … I asked you if you had money. And you said yes.  

Then you left. And I kept thinking on my way to home…. Thinking why I am thinking so much.. about some stupid mad fellow whom I know just since a few hours.  I thought it was love. Then I thought no way. Then I thought I wish to adopt a child like him. And then I thought no. 

And fuck! And fuck! And fuck! My first thought should have been my  last thought.. for that lasts forever. 

I was a nice boy... and now am mad. mad in looov

 here is glossary 
Kannadi = spectacles
Aden Gappa = O my god!
Tam Brahm = tamil brahmin
illaiya = isnt it? 
pullai = boy


Another Kiran In NYC said...

Like I told you... I am airing ouy paithanis and shining up the jhumkas for the invite someday!

Love is sweet and a bitch too no?

Pinku said...

beautiful...and so very very romantic..

Gautam said...

happy days :-)

Anonymous said...

Aiiyyo... whaat happened next saar, kindly narrate no!

Anonymous said...

this is fantastic. I am wish someone could love me like this. Aham you rock

dharshan said...

So romantic and entertaining too! Waiting for the sequel to this piece!

ankita said...

hey, its very beautifully written!! I had met u once during one of my BMM projects in Wilson college!! n this piece is just beautifully written! I really enjoyed reading this!! :D :D keep smiling!! :D

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