Monday, March 22, 2010

Censor Kills Dibakar Banerjee

Fultu Time Pass and no Bakwass... right from the word go till the anti climax you sit glued to your seat and watch the funny feats of the human mind…. This film speaks volumes about the “peeping tom” nature that many of us are proudly endowed with. The film is full of human toys and splendid ploys, both complementing each other like ball and socket. Knit together are “joie de vivre” kinds moments and melancholic tides... that follow each other in succession. Never a dull-lull moment. 




The film showcases 3 exhibitionistic stories. And portrays us as what we are… Voyeurs. The lives  of others excite us the most. Chasms and Orgasms... the film has several slices of these. It has some interesting “everyday” lingo. Is it cheap? Yes. Do we use it everyday. OHH YES!

The first one is a tribute to the evergreen raj and simran of DDLJ and a once upon a time phenomenon and a one film wonder called “Aditya Chopra”. A tribute as in… really a tribute. A  film institute student is  remaking DDLJ as a part of his graduation film project. The film making process cannot be explained. The script is so full of events… you will have to see it to experience it. After a series of events… the film director falls in love with the leading lady and gets married to her. Baaki ka stuff.. watch in the film..



The second story is the store scandal. An MMS kaand that happens every now and then. (I have seen such lewd MMS’s especially in phones of people who give me a lecture on morality). After a series of drama and hungaama. Twists and turns. The store manager takes the store sales girl into confidence and shoots her by deceiving her on the spy camera. And that video is circulated for paisa vasool entertainment across channels and phones.  

The third story is of a music director who lures girls to have fun with him by promising them a chance in his music video. The girl meets a TV channel guy whose specialty is sting operations. They together get a music director caught in the net. And then again a drama and hungaama follows. Again, something that you will have to experience. 

Now the big question. , how and where did the censor screw up. They did, with their myopic attitude. It sucks. They chopped off the very essence of the film. It’s like being handcuffed and all lone and on a heavy dose of Viagra… that way…  So much so that one moves out of the theater with a word of appreciation, but does sense “that something special” was missing. That something special is the thing that would instigate him to drive back to the theater again and again to watch the same film… that special something is missing.  And the censors have to be blamed for this missing ingredient. He reality in the film is seen fake. Though the censor dint shy to show man slaughter in the film, that’s far more gory and unessential (in the DDLJ story). They have reacted absurdly to the butt nude scene which was so integral to the film. Anyways, the film has an A certificate. It is adults who are watching it.



Am I this young blood who believes in no restriction… at all??? No. I do believe that one needs to do away with the censors.

Though I opine strongly against bloody violence.. That’s quite becoming a quotidian with every other film showcasing it as a norm and walking away with a U certificate in many cases. The word “Madhar Ch!d” is now commonplace in films. I take serious offence to the word mentioned. And that’s okay to pass off with a U or a U/A certificate???  And animal cruelty in the name of children films is a big no no. haven’t we seen horses falling in jodha akbar...? and horses falling in so many films… All that is okay???  But sex  that’s an integral part of a film is not. And come on, when you have an adult certificate, and adults are watching the film. It should be okay for us to see a bare butt or a kissing scene or whatever should be okay for us to see. We are old enough people with controllable progesterone and testosterones levels.

Come on Censors, get treated, stop PMSing over and over again. Grow up.  You killed the soul of LSD. And killed Dibakar  Bannerjees piece of art. 

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Sunday, March 21, 2010

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

How Much More Can We Divide India?



OneIndia One People is an international magazine. Thank you Rajlakshmi for publishing my views  unedited. 







United we stand divided we fall! A dictum long forgotten in our tryst with history. There was a time when we were one, and together we won, but today we are bruised and battered. We are chopped into pieces in an effort to uphold peace. I am referring to the “request for smaller states” issue that has been in the headlines for quite some time.  An issue so very pertinent, it well means the revamp of geography textbooks of school children, and an identity changed forever. I feel against the boundaries that we draw within, I wonder how beautiful would the world be with no lines, but just with landmarks.

Am I against the students of Osmania University and their concerns? NO. The concerns are genuine, though I have my own concerns about fragmentation of our country. I don’t see it as a solution to any problem. But it does satiate ones thirst for power. It does set a dreadful ominous trend. A siren for most fake whistle blowers of humanity and empathy who leave no stone unturned in grasping with a firm grip - the whip of power politics. The manipulative scheming schemes to disintegrate and divide are the ultimate display of dismay.  What one achieves with these new boundaries, I think.  Does it help governance? I think not. Given the topography of various places in India and the interdependence between states even in terms of basic necessities, I strongly opine that interstate Octroi and other costs could be widely avoided by this. In addition to this, we are well aware of the fact that politics is no habitat of sacred cows.  These small states that would be formed could well vanish into the oblivion with a minuscule representation in the center.

The concern of mine, is genuine, I champion the need to speak up for their various causes. But I step back and wonder  if the voices and issues that concerns of the small states will go unheard by the overriding voices of the mighty motley majority. A case in example would be the fact that most of us don’t know much about the issues of places like Nagaland, Andaman & Nicobar or Lakshadweep. The case with these states are different, they are apart and separated by sea.  The point I wish to highlight is what I fear even smaller states would be subjected to – Gross Neglect.

Do we have lesser issues in hand to deal with that we are adding to the list? Wouldn’t it be more prudent a decision to find solutions to problems in hand amicably and diligently which would involve inclusive strategy with an intent to celebrate and accept differences?  Couldn’t there be a middle ground of negotiation?  Coming back to where I started, it has already created a trend…. The spark set at Telangana has created a wild fire with Mayawati diverting media attention from her statue spree with fresh new demands for new states.  Frivolous demands, not all legitimate and mostly laughable. A thought to ponder by Farooq Abdullah that I have no answer to “ How much more can you divide India”

Once Upon A Time... An Indian!


madhuri fidaa hussain has been creating quite a ripple in the media than what the silver screen's original diva madhuri did when she chucked AK47 dhaari sanju and tied the knot with injection dhaari nene.




both are chammak challos in their respective fields. madhuri's pelvic thrust is as famous as hussains brush and they both are just visitors to india. madhuri ka bacchas were born in colarado. and are imported. madhuri is india’s official import and speaks a language that we understand best- bollywood. fir… kaiko? kashaala?… no drama was created during madhuri ka exit from india.







and secondly, i wonder if the people who are protesting or protecting mf hussain know anything about art? mf hussain is just a nice topic. unlike his muse who dint irk anyone or invoke any badaa controversy. the microbiologist madhuri  just suffered once when she faced the brunt of not being a good student of  history in school and stated that nepal was a part of india.

i have received hazaar instigating emails that would make any hindu red with anger. they were about hindu goddess  in the nude vis-à-vis muslim deities fully clothed. it is so easy to instigate people. i personally have photos of goddesses at home which have goddesses in the nude. i prostrate to them and watch them in awe. “chitoor bhagwati” she is called, and she is bare chested.  did i think of them sexually? no. similarly, i was always fond of  lord krishna since childhood, and i disliked lord rama for deserting sita. religion is open for interpretation. this is my interpretation, you are free to have yours and i would respect that too. 

now speaking about  hussain, im no connoisseur of art, and don’t claim to know the nuances of it. but anyways, at 95, who knows how long he would live, and where his grave would be. and how does that matter. i wonder why the media and his lovers have woken up now when he is becoming officially a qatar national. where were the mfh lovers when he was forced to be on exile. 

aiyyo raama yeh kaisaa drama...

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