Monday, December 31, 2012

The Delhi Rape Case - My Vent

What would you do if you saw someone getting molested.

Chances are that every sentence that you are going to read below has no connection with the other. I am angry but, and I want to type. I want to write. I want to share. I need a vent and you will have to read it.

thank you Google for the candle doodle. It is but necessary that we grow beyond symbolism.

Having said that, considering that we are a nation that follows the herd. We should also see to it that there is a big herd of people championing the cause, so that there could be a bigger impact.  We  don’t lead, we only follow. We are on the lookout for leaders.  But not all issues need someone to lead. It should be in our instinct to respond to any form of abuse with a kick, with a shout, with a complaint. But we don’t. we are too scared.  

We provide a society for women where they could just be a scared sacred deity put on the isolated pedestal of shame.

We see it all the time. Women in trains and busses being ogled at. We see women being beaten by their husbands in our vicinity. We see children being beaten. We do nothing.  I have been witness to many such events. And mind you, I can say with utmost pride that I have done something at least. And I have shamelessly shared my doings on facebook. Hoping that of the many people who brand me as attention seeking, would also follow suit and do something when they see something wrong happening to women, homosexuals, transgenders or children. And believe me, they do. Every time I post something on facebook, I get ten  fifteen emails of people who share their hearts deepest secrets with me. Some do it publicly in a fit of rage as comments on this post today. LINK .

This morning, I received a call from an angry girl who wanted to kill all men. She kept screaming her lungs out. I listened. Quietly without uttering a word, I heard. She ended her verbal marathon, with "thanks for hearing me harry. I was molested. I was also molested"

The delhi girl has stirred the nation. She has helped people get their trauma to the surface and deal with it. Those who have suffered sexual violence, can't really forget. They should not pretend to have forgotten. Some angers need a desparate vent. The wounds need healing. The braveheart of india has kindled a spark that will result in a forest-fire of reforms. It has to. A survivor of sexual violence, and I know what it means to receive so much support. What it means to have the whole of india enraged for a common cause. Sexual abuse survivors know. I know. Sometimes I feel I should shut the TV. Sometimes I feel I should shout. Sometimes I feel I should not look at the newspaper. No matter how "healed" you are. No matter how far you have come ahead of the ghastly incidence of sexual assault in your life. Your emotions would take a churning. We are all bound with fine-threads of empathy, so. Thank you India. Thank you media for your sensitivity. We still don't know the name of the girl. Thanks for protecting the girl's identity.

I know, a survivor can't get unraped, we can't get un-molested. And un-sexually assaulted. But we can look now at a window called "change" and breathe. It refreshing to know that India cares. This girl has kindled the spark of empathy. So overwhelmed I am with emotions that I just don't wish to stop typing. Thank you girl. Love you delhi-girl. Love you.

I had a friend writing to me that he is pissed of the people asking him – “aaj raat ko marine drive challenge. Udhar mast protest karke party mein jaayeinge”.  He was fuming  with anger. He was telling me how these so called “concerned” lot were  making a mockery of the whole drama.  

I can sit cushioned in my air conditioned office and speak about woman rights. But there is another India in my house, where my mom gets coffee on order for my dad. there is another India in my neighborhood where my neighbor slaps his wife because she doesn’t give him blow jobs. There is another India within us that wouldn’t shy to call a woman a "chinaal", "randi" or simply say the very affable "chutiya", like it was like whispering some sweetnothings into someones ears. There is another India where we worship women, and then treat her like a rotten apple when she starts menstruating after the initial “coming-of-age-and-now-in-the-Marriage-Market”celebration. We live in two India’s. And these two india’s are a manifestation of our deep rooted culture.

Lets accept it. We are a species of self-righteous  idiots who want to change the world, but not change ourselves.

Lets accept it. We are all ass@les.

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