I know I would be hated.
for swimming against the tide.
Yet I flip my throbbing feet,
without blistering my stride.
In this world untrue, I know,
I'm expected to act modest, and shocked when I achieve what I do.
But, I know I would prefer been seen as shallow,
rather than a weaselling kiddo.
I will grow up one day,
I will stand up and hold my star,
I will not shy that day then,
to flaunt my haughtiness hidden between my scars.
I know that day, will come,
when I would call it a happy day,
That I will proclaim I am what I am, because what I am is what I am,
not because I had no other way.
Then, I will scream out to heaven,
not in disgust or in shame.
Till I hear a voice back,
of the skies that echo my name.
Call me a loser prick,
and lesser than a man.
I cannot change because you want me to.
It is just the only way I am that I am.
Now, push me further into the dark closets if you fancy.
And shove me to the edge till that day -
I scream out my lungs in agony
And proclaim I am happy and I am gay.
I am happy and I am gay.
- harish iyer
written years back by me when i was in the closet and at the brink of 18. :)