Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Monday, November 03, 2014
One of those nights where after nursing the wounds of the world, I find time to feel my own.
Sometimes, one does go through gloomy phases in life when you feel lonely in a world that you are way too known. Well, its a popular perception that people who are known are surrounded by people all the while and are lucky in matters of lust and love. Well, it is a myth. Most often the inverse is true.
I'm in no haste in falling in love or anything, (one mistake in haste is a good lesson) but I do feel the pang of lying alone under the moonlit sky. I do feel that one day, I find someone to share this space with.
Friday, October 31, 2014
The Bangalore Case where the husband cheated on the wife with another man raises a few eye brows and many questions
1) I empathize with the wife, I really do, but is slapping 377 on the husband justified?
2) Would we have slapped 377 on this guy if the guy cheated on his wife with another woman and the wife caught them in 'unnatural acts'...as per the legal parlance?
3) Would the trauma the wife suffered be any less or any different if the 'woh' was a woman.
4) The media revealed the name of the employer and other details which makes it easy to identify the husband. Would the case be any less serious if the husband worked at the barber shop and not an IT firm? Would they have dared to do the same if it was the wife who was the culprit?
5) We take a moral high ground when it comes to cheating on your partner, cross your hearts and tell me, haven't you ever cheated?
6) It takes me ages to argue with the police and get a simple FIR for stalking a woman registered. Who are these lovely policemen who register a 377 on a infidelity case?
7)I stand for equal rights. If the wife feels cheated - grant her divorce. If the husband caused mental trauma - demand alimony. But slapping 377, isnt it stretching this too far with malicious intent?
8) Also the journalism stoops to a new low here. Why reveal the identity of the man?
I received a string of Whatsapp messages from a friend who championed women rights and thought the man deserved no sympathy because he 'cheated'. He stopped sending me messages when I asked him "weren't you in a relationship with someone when you were giving me a blowjob some years back? "
We are a homophobic and hypocritical society. Hence proved.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
How does one feel when a part of your body stands in front of you live and alive in flesh and blood?
Martin's play - the tricky part, trickles down your spine leaving chill and thrill down your spine at the same time. It is a play that has four characters on stage - a stool, a book, a photograph and Martin.
So human his play is that you dissolve in it completely.
While Martin inspires the world and people call it 'courage' , to me it is his way of therapy and finding himself by connecting the dots of the past and the present is what is most inspiring.
Post the play, martin and I took questions from the audience. Modesty has never been my nature, so while you make your judgments allow me my moments of pride. It was happy to note from the counsellors present in the audience, that some survivors read my posts and look up to me. While I scare some people by holding a mirror to their past that they would rather not address, I also am seen as the level , the benchmark of where people want to reach in dealing with their abuse. I can tell you guys and girls and trans persons that we all set our own benchmarks. There are levels that you may reach that I aspire to be. Every case of abuse and every method of dealing with it is as diverse as chalk and cheese though it looks very similar in some angles. Martin's life or mine is a story, just a story that resonates with your life. Parts of it is true to yours, but a part of it is also unique. The paths you discover to deal with it, and rise from it will also be unique and independent to your life. Be the god of your story. Write your own happy sad story with a happiness in continuum.
I have been planning something with a friend I am very fond of- Sapna Moti Bhavnani since quite sometime now. Rather to put it correctly we have been planning something together. But I should confess, i haven't found the courage to write down my piece completely. There are phases when I lose my train of thought. Now I will. Martin inspires me to connect the dots of my past and present.
Do yourself a favor - watch The Tricky Part. It is empowering, but more importantly, its theapeautic.
"I know what has happened. I know what you have done. I know you repent. I want you to know, no matter what has happened, whatever you have done or not done - I will not judge you. I will stand by you through this. I will love you. I dont want you to believe in me. I want you to believe in yourself. I want you to see yourself from my eyes, for you will see then that you are without sin"
Context : as a young girl she was forced to lure boys and girls her age then and get them to "play"with her abuser. It has taken her 8 years of talking-it-out to stop feeling guilty. In her late 30s now, she has put her past in her past. She is writing her memoir about her interactions with me. Which she intends to publish someday when she decides to go completely public about her life. :)
Happy I be.
*some primary identifiers have been changed to protect the identity of the survivor*
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
If a human lands in a tiger enclosure and becomes a meal, it is not the mistake of the tiger. It's his natural prey.
Condolences to the family of the deceased, but it is not the animals fault.
I want an india sans Zoos and circuses. At least, in India we dont deserve zoos. If you want to look at animals go into the wild. Every school should get in touch with environmentalists for nature trails where they could meet animals at their home and also get educated about wild animals and plants. What does one gain by watching animals in an ill kept badly managed filthy environment which is way far from being a simulator of nature's wilderness
Also, we make no effort in educating our kids against hooting and pelting stones on poor helpless animals imprisoned by human(un)kind for no fault of theirs. I call for a boycott of zoos. If we want to learn about animals, travel to their homes.... And more importantly, be a guest at their home, not a pest.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Well, it is pretty petty of people in the LGBT community to pull down Sushant because he is effeminate. In your definition, He may be campy, over the top, drama queen... But he is himself. It takes immense amount of courage to be yourself in a world that wants you to be a clone of what they deem fit is 'agreeable' or 'representative' of their thought. Sushant Divgikar is a real diva, and he is only competing with himself every time he goes on stage, every time winning over his own performance, exceeding his benchmarks of excellence every single time. Not surprising that it seems to have irked many insane minds whose business is to only poke fun or pass judgments. It is sad though that these livid tongues dont ever come on the stage and represent what they deem fit. They hide behind silhoutes and tinted glasses holding a concave mirror to society, in which they hate to see themselves. I pity such naysayers, I really pity them because their shortsightedness and discriminatory attitude of putting down a gay man as feminine is in a way a bad reflection of their own misogynistic mindset that thinks its okay to be gay as long as you are a man-gay. I pity them because they fail to understand that the gay world is as diverse as characters in sholay, each distinct, none totally representative of reality. I pity them because they could only see sushant's twisted arm, his lady gagaish dress, his queeny shorts... But they didn't see his talent they didn't see the strength and energy he brought to the screen. I really wish to see them grow, some meat between their ears, as much of it, is just between their legs.
And to end, I'd like to tell the whole damn world - there is no one representative of the gay community. Not me, not Ashok, Not pallav, and not Ricky martin, Elton john or even Ellen de generes. We all are different as chalk and cheese.
I have always heard this phrase 'dont act gay, act normal'. What is normal? Aren't we defining a new stereotype called 'normal'.
- Normal is the biggest stereotype.
Sushant refuses to be that stereotype. Deal with it.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
It is a beautiful festival. But let this be against misogyny. I would appreciate if all genders tie rakhi to each other. Or better still, tie rakhi to the one who will protect you. Men, women, transperson – immaterial. If protection is the essence of the festival, let's make it real. Protect the ones who need protection, but more importantly, empower them so that they don't need to tie you a rakhi tomorrow.
You know what I mean?
Friday, August 08, 2014
Hey did you want to tell me that you were raped?
That you would have died and had a narrow escape?
That you are angry and hate yourself?
That you have not felt happy feeling yourself?
You dont want to listen to advice, I won't give you,
I will not champion your bravery for that is not true,
I will leave you alone, and watch you cry,
I will not hold you close till your tears run dry.
Then I will put you on my chest and tell you nothing my friend,
I will not belittle your pain with words that can't comfort what you underwent.
I will be like a stone, and give you my ear,
I want you to know that I may be far, yet I am near.
I know you are scared, that you will be not believed, that your life will be called a pretense,
That you will be called a story, that no one will believe your utterance.
I understand your unsaid, and all that you want to say,
I see the unseen in big wild bombay,
I understand you are outraged,
The emotions you have caged,
Even if it was not to open it to me,
It is time to uncage, set the bird free.
Set the bird free!!!
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Am at the station platform an asshole just screamed GUD from a train that passed by and SPAT on me from the running train. It missed my face by a few inches. Heading home to wash myself and change the shirt.
I would have roasted his balls and humiliated him like no ones business if was on ground.
If this can happen to me, so can it with anybody. But it is not the time to hide. It is time to stand up the fight.
It also gave me an understanding today about the mawallis screaming AYE ITEM to girls at the platform.
Bullying is on a rise.
Thank you India. Thank you so fucking much.
You have to pay heavily for facilitating the loss of dignity of a gazillion LGBTIQ people in india.
There is absolutely #NoGoingBack now. Spit on me you fucking moron. Spit one as I am right here going to light fire up your ass. Fucking asshole.
You think I will be ashamed, you thonk I will cow down and hide. I will get up you asshole. I will get up and wear my fucking sexuality on my sleeve now. You fucking deal with it.
I will wait for you to attack me again. And then I will get you screwed by the same public in the train.
Think I was taking my freedom too easy and was being too cozy and being complacent. In fact, I was just telling a friend that we should be doing something compelling and provocative with hard truths to get people to sign the petition and this spit happened. It was almost like being given a reason enough to share.
I am sharing not to scare you. Yes it is a difficult time. But women go through harrassment this every fucking day. I can hide my sexuality, can she hide her gender?
It is why all movements need to step up together. And stand up equally and unequivocally for the tenets of human rights. It is not gay rights anymore. It all stems out of the same mindset to impose the thought of the majority on the minority.
P.S. I am least apologetic for the language. I needed to vent. And I feel violated.
I drafted this post almost an hour ago but wondered if I should post it considering that I am known, would this spread panic. But then I thought I need to post for my own selfish reasons. I wish to scream shout and vent it fucking out. That's my way of coping with anger and stress. You have a problem - go fuck yourself.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Sunday, June 22, 2014
- · You are not offended by silly jokes.
- · Reality makes no sense to you.
- · You don't care if a mentally challenged are teased or the film propagates stupid myths in the name of humour
- · you don't get into your activistic mode on seeing people given shock treatment because they are "PAGAL" - just for fun.
- · You are not a real cinema lover.
- · You want to make out with your partner and you don't have PLACE.
- · You are overtly empathetic and flaunt your superb sense of humour, so you will excuse the director for the stupidity because you notice that he jokes about his own film (himmatwala)
- · Your idea of good lyrics is "Tere iraade hain bade hi shaitani, Not available hai meri ye jawaani"
- · You want to support Bipasha Basu and Saif Ali Khan's sinking careers and this film is your charity to them.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
In India we respect the victim of sexual assault only if she is dead. (well in some cases not even after death) If she is living, we rape her/him/hir again verbally. We ask "Look at the CCTV cameras does she look assaulted?" "O! That Bitch, she wants compensation" "huh! She was possibly drunk or drugged" "doesnt she kiss people and sleep with them otherwise... Randi saali". The victim has to prove that they are one. Like when they are getting molested, assaulted, raped ... they are supposed to think "evidence" "evidence"... "let me collate evidence".
Like, when you have someone feel up your groin, fingering your vagina, pressing your nipples, pushing his penis on your rectum, you need to be thinking –"I should collect EVIDENCE"
You are supposed to not waste time and run to the police. Even if you are bleeding and scarred for life and know that there would be the whole world turning its eye on you.. You have no right to wait till you attain a calm composure. Even if you are dying in pain, physical or emotional- you need to report. For you will be asked " why were you quiet for so many days, bitch, were you plotting".
If you seek help from someone you know could. And if the cheif minister has issues with that person... The victim will be called the enemy of the state. If she happens to be a "not looking" raped, not having swollen eyes and is seen in a party after the time of rape she is called a liar. She needs to look raped. If she is a film star and high profile, one thinks that she probably knows to fib and spin a yarn, like she does in front of the camera she does here.
Some of the others will be kind. They will call the raped one courageous. Send the person mails championing her move. Put the raped one on a pedestal. Make the raped one a wall flower - a piece of art for all kind souls to flaunt and fart.
May be, the one distressed don't need all of these. May be they just need some space, some light of their own sun, sometime minus judgments, some time to regain strength. Is that too much to ask for?
Friday, May 09, 2014
Friday, April 04, 2014
I don’t think it is anyone’s business but ours to fight for our rights. I don’t think we can rely on anyone, lean on any support or be sanguine about having someone over there ever ready to fight our battles. It is our life, it is our ground, it is our game that we have to play.
There are some who consider you a number. A digit so small that you would use two words that mean the same to meanly define you – minuscule, minority. And there will be others, who will promise you of their support verbally, but will not put it on a document that could be preserved for posterity. You are made to feel so small, that you really think you are small. Like a dot in the map. A dot of shame that lives just to reinstate that we are no stain. That we have been restrained instead for ages. Our confidence has been maimed so badly, that we think we are jumping when we crawl in the straight lanes of life.
I wonder if that would ever change if we relied on others. If it has to, we have to take the plunge. We have to pass the test. We have to stand up for ourselves. We have to be knit closer than ever. We the LGBTIQ community, cannot be considered an insignificant number. We are people. Real people capable of impacting real change. Change within, and change in the world, as we see it.
I don’t have money. I have wings. I don’t have assets. But I have a fractured spirit that propels me further with greater velocity. I will do something that I thought I would never. I will stand up for the elections. Some party, Some day, Some time. I will.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
|the case number.|
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Rainbow Quotient: Someone mistakes Farhan and Vir Das to be a couple. To which Vir replies “NO”. though it does no harm, it was not needed. A terrible forcefit.
Closing Words of Wisdom : you have too much money, kyaa? Then please donate to a charity instead.
Ladaai ho toh barabar ki. Poetic justice, honey, poetic justice! *
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
I woke up today in disdain,
murky thoughts of woe and pain
My thoughts wandered to pastures full of strife.
What do I do with this dreary life?
Some write right, some write left, some are ambidextrous,
the difference is universal, you want me to feel shame, you want me to digress.
I love people, in nature's holy ways.
The law steps in but, judges me and showers dismay.
The body I am in, is the state’s property
what I do with it, is my country’s fantasy.
Tell me your honour, do I look like a criminal?
about my expression of love, why are you being so anal?
Friday, January 03, 2014
#1. dont suffer fools.
#2. dont engage in nonsensical debates with people who have all the time in the world.
#3. use the time and energy saved in #2 for the kind of work that you wish to do.
#4. you dont need to explain to anybody why you love someone and why you dislike someone. you have your loyalties, your affinities and your hate lists. and you dont owe anyone an explaination for it.
#5. be direct. you dont need to "look good". you are not winning some congeniality contest, okay?
#6. if people think that they are the center of the universe. let them. in all probability their universe will be an island, with only them in it. you just chill in your pond swimming with your fishes in it.
#7. remind yourself again and again that you are not superman. even superman fucks up. and you are allowed to too.
#8. remember that the only thing that you should be procrastinating is procrastination.
#9. never be disheartened by nasty gossips about you by the big-wigs. still respect them for their work. and respect the fact that they are human to be assholes.
#10. start one campaign a month. something that will spread smiles and awareness on causes that you *heart*
#11. get a personal life. spend time with your new kids - Shiva and Krishna.
#12. before you draw cash from the ATM to donate to some cause, remember, you could become a social cause tomorrow if you run out of a job, for you have no savings
#13. get hitched. have a love life. a sex life. and please delete people who write messages like "i want to have celebrity sex with you" from your life forever. if possible - shoot them.
#14. read from #1 to #14 again. may be pin it up on the wall or something. because the fuck-headed that you are. you will do only what you have been doing. always. always. always.