Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Side-Effects Of Shaadi Ke Side Effects

I had the august opportunity to watch this fantastic film called Shaadi ke side effects. Firstly, let me share that this is a breathtaking film, I am telling you with first hand experience, okay. It really took my breath. This is one of the very few film franchise models that India could flaunt about. The previous film by the same director (Saket whatever), was called Pyaar ke side effects, this one is Shaadi ke side effects,  for all we know the next film may be called Family ke side effects.  Though the films are not related to each other and are not a prequel-sequel  thing like Jurrassic Park, this film is as adventurous like Jurrassic Park. You get lost in the jungle of relationships. (o! I almost sound like a poet!)

The biggest and the most magnificent dinosaur of this film is the script writer. He has thought of a spectacular script that has never been thought before. Never ever.  Let me share - Married couple looking for spice in their  love life beyond vanilla fornication - wife nagging causing husband a lot of frustration - husband taking a vacation - while wife fakes a fuckation to win the husband’s lost attention - and the final revelation leading to the climax of true-love confession -  are not things that you have ever heard before in Indian cinema of this nation. Have we?  (Me poet became! Notice the alliteration {or whatever the figure of speech})

The treat, the delicacy of this film is the music. So what if you don’t tap your feet to it, you definitely would tap your head. The choreography makes you wonder if there has been a natural disaster – like an earthquake. The costume designer, takes the cherry and the cake , I read media reports that Vidya sat with her stylist Jayati and gave her inputs. So, you see Vidya donning a backless blue dress in the first short of her introduction.  The backless dress is so dangerously low that if it slipped any further, the film would end up as a sequel to Dirty Picture.  After this film, my respect for Vidya has grown four fold. Vidya doesn’t only pick up challenging roles; she picks up challenging clothes too.

Vidya,  I believe has sittings and sittings and sittings before she connects with the character in the film.  This she must have signed right at the first sitting. May be because her husband played by Farhan is called “Siddharth Roy”,  she must have been given to believe that this role was written for her. I want to marry the person who narrated the story to her. S/he/ze surely knows how to make the ride on a maruti 800 sound like a ride on merc. Super skilled, man, Super skilled to get both Farhan and Vidya in your net.
The actors bring finesse to the characters that they depict. Vidya and Farhan are established actors, and that shows in every frame. You also have names like Ram Kapoor and Gautami  playing (Vidya) Trisha’s sis and bro in law. You have Rati Agnihotri who plays  Trisha’s mom. The surprise package is Vir Das who plays (Farhan) Siddharth Roy’s messy roommate. He revels in the role of a Casanova. Though you wonder what he is doing in the film, the credit should go to Saket whatever for the etched out character though useless. Like, if you remove every single character of the film, you can see how beautifully Saket has hunted for second hand spare parts (read scripts) and made this movie vehicle.  Guess he picked up parts of the script from some garage sale for charity.

I know I didn't warn you about spoilers. But I am happy that I saved your money. But still if you insist on watching this film – please carry Saridon to save yourself from the side effects of shaadi ke side effects. So in effect, Shaadi Ke Side effects is about family planning.  It is an eye opener. Watch this film and understand how irritating heterosexual wives can be and how irresponsible heterosexual husbands can be.  And the core message that the film spreads is about children – and the turmoil in your love life- sex life - economic life they could cause when you bear one. It is a film that amazes you with the bitter taste. As a heterosexual rights activist, I propose a ban on this film. Or better still, a fatwa.  Or better than better, a dharna.

Rating :  are you like  ‘kidding me’?
Rainbow Quotient:   Someone mistakes Farhan and Vir Das to be a couple. To which Vir replies “NO”. though it does no harm,  it was not needed. A terrible forcefit.
Closing Words of Wisdom :  you have too much money, kyaa? Then please donate to a charity instead.

*the views expressed here are brutally honest and are obviously my own. I know you may find some comments in the review very insulting and that’s the intent – to not sugar coat. You can feel free to disagree with them. But rather than sending me a hate comment, I’d appreciate if you protest with another blogpiece.
 Ladaai ho toh barabar ki.  Poetic justice, honey, poetic justice! *

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