Sunday, June 22, 2014

Humshakal : Rights of Admission Reserved

Yesterday, we had 4 hours to kill between the massive plantation drive at Maharashtra Nature Park that we were organizing. We didn't know what to do to in the interim. We came up with the brilliant idea of watching a film in the theater close by. We didn't want a heavy dose film rather we wanted a stupid silly film to watch and laugh our way back to our plants.  The result – we bought tickets for Humshakal.


We reached the theater almost half an hour after the show and left in less than 45 minutes, but we were really not feeling bad. The AC was good and cozy. We took a small nap, while occasionally wink-opening our eyes to catch this classic.  We all expected a silly film. A real silly film. This film is different, you need to qualify to watch it.  Here is the  qualifying criteria :  

  • ·         You are not offended by silly jokes.
  • ·         Reality makes no sense to you.
  • ·         You don't care if a mentally challenged are teased or the film propagates stupid myths in the name of humour
  • ·         you don't get into your activistic mode on seeing people given shock treatment because they are "PAGAL" -  just for fun.
  • ·         You are not a real cinema lover.
  • ·         You want to make out with your partner and you don't have PLACE.
  • ·         You are overtly empathetic and flaunt your superb sense of humour,  so you will excuse the director  for the stupidity because you notice that he jokes about his own film (himmatwala)
  • ·         Your idea of good lyrics is "Tere iraade hain bade hi shaitani,  Not available hai meri ye jawaani"
  • ·         You want to support Bipasha Basu and Saif Ali Khan's sinking careers and this film is your charity to them.
And if the reasons above are not listed above, you have no right to watch this film.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

This Is How We Treat Survivors Of Sexual Assaults

In India we respect the victim of sexual assault only if she is dead. (well in some cases not even after death) If she is living, we rape her/him/hir again verbally. We ask "Look at the CCTV cameras does she look assaulted?" "O! That Bitch, she wants compensation" "huh! She was possibly drunk or drugged" "doesnt she kiss people and sleep with them otherwise... Randi saali". The victim has to prove that they are one. Like when they are getting molested, assaulted, raped ... they are supposed to think "evidence" "evidence"... "let me collate evidence". 

Like, when you have someone feel up your groin, fingering your vagina, pressing your nipples, pushing his penis on your rectum, you need to be thinking –"I should collect EVIDENCE" 

You are supposed to not waste time and run to the police. Even if you are bleeding and scarred for life and know that there would be the whole world turning its eye on you.. You have no right to wait till you attain a calm composure. Even if you are dying in pain, physical or emotional- you need to report. For you will be asked " why were you quiet for so many days, bitch, were you plotting".

If you seek help from someone you know could. And if the cheif minister has issues with that person... The victim will be called the enemy of the state. If she happens to be a "not looking" raped, not having swollen eyes and is seen in a party after the time of rape she is called a liar. She needs to look raped. If she is a film star and high profile, one thinks that she probably knows to fib and spin a yarn, like she does in front of the camera she does here.

Some of the others will be kind. They will call the raped one courageous. Send the person mails championing her move. Put the raped one on a pedestal. Make the raped one a wall flower - a piece of art for all kind souls to flaunt and fart. 

May be, the one distressed don't need all of these. May be they just need some space, some light of their own sun, sometime minus judgments, some time to regain strength. Is that too much to ask for?

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